Friday, March 27, 2009

Drowning in F-U-N

Yesterday, I attended the christening if my second godchild, Alfred James or AJ. It was great because the whole shebang was a christening, a pool party and a birthday bash rolled into one. With my brother and his nanny in tow, we went straight to the pool area after the service. No one was more excited with the prospect of basking in the cold chlorinated water more than my brother as it was his first time to swim in a pool. It was no mean feat convincing my mom to allow my brother to don the suit and skidaddle to the water. My worry wart mom doesn't like the odds of my brother accidentally wandering off to deep water and possibly drowning but I somehow convinced her. To make the long story short, Waki almost drowned right under my very nose.

Wait... I can explain everything.

It was a minor accident, really. A minor accident that will forever burn in my mind.   There we were, just chillin' (by chillin' I meant me taking video clips while his nanny laughed her ass off) while my bro happily laughed and splashed around the side of the pool when suddenly, he saw a beach ball and decided that he must have it. Like, NAO. So there,  he chased the damned thing, slipped head first into the water, bobbled around for several seconds because he couldn't regain his footing. Thankfully, an older boy was able to rush to his aid, grabbed him by the hair and guided my then-gasping and sputtering brother out of the pool while we stood, rooted on our spot, in stunned silence.

The scene was so harrowing, just thinking about it makes my blood run cold.

It was brief, yes. But for one shining moment there, I was arrested with the fact that the smallest of mistakes can result in things going completely batshit coco bananas  if one is not careful enough.

I let my guard down for a fucking second and things almost went KA-BOOM! all over my fucking face. The possibilities are unnerving. I was glad he was okay.

Call me sick but the funny part was, some of the incident was caught on record. Like I said, I was taking video clips of him fooling around in the water. Of course now, we are able to laugh about it but man. Never again.

On a more cheerful note, there were parlor games after the pool party and I won the first contest. Now, now. One might say, hey, how come you were included in the parlor game when the whole thing was for kids? Well, some of the kids were too shy to gather up and play games so the clowns made do with grown-ups.

It was no contest, really. I won just like God intended, bwahahahhaha!

Embarassingly enough, homegirl won, beyotches!

Personally, I'm not so much into making a spectacle of myself in public but I had no choice. I don't want anyone thinking I'm a snotty brat or something. It was fun, really. Embarassing, yes, but then again, the thought of  all the hungry children in Mindanao really motivated me to do my best in shooting that ball into a plastic cup (the mechanics of the game is too complicated, not to mention, too boring, to write about). Hahahah, I jest, I jest.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Fiesta in the Prabens

I was lucky enough to be here for this year's town fiesta. I thought this year seemed to be as unremarkable as the last however, we spent this fiesta in our new home.

The construction was finished late last year and it is our first time to spend the night. Admittedly, I was a bit wary of staying overnight since my brother's nanny, who spends a lot of time cleaning up the place, said something about ghostly apparitions and what-nots. But after sleeping in for a night, I found the place quite pleasant to be in. In fact, it was pretty awesome. We spent the whole day gorging ourselves till we pass out, getting acquainted with the place, marveling at the noisy view below and making chocolate pudding.

The new place had a great view of the fiesta parade. It was my first time in the 26 years that I lived in Paniqui to witness such lively spectacle and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't love the whole thing! I was surprised at the happy crowd mooning over the baton-toting majorettes, how seemingly united the townfolks looked as they stalked and oggled at the colorful floats while grabbing as much give-away candies as they could.

Despite the lack of personal guests (a fault on my part),  this fiesta is one that I won't soon forget.

Laptop Rubber-Necking

The sweltering summer heat here in the prabens is especially pit-sweating this year. I couldn't go outside without my face practically melting off from the searing heat.

Incidentally, I'm driving myself absolutely bonkers thinking which brand of laptop I sould buy. You see, in order to score a decent writing gig, I must first buy a decent laptop which is a bit of a snag in my grand plan of awesome things because those pieces of fine machinery don't come cheap.

At first I was partial to the Dell Inspiron series because I took to heart what an office friend of mine quipped "You either go Mac or Dell".  Since Mac laptops proved to be too expensive, I had to settle for the second best. However, after checking out a number of reviews, I learned that Dell laptops are more prone to freeze ups and a bunch of other anomalities than any other brand. One expert even warned neophyte techies to "stay the fuck away from Dell". Of course, I was crest-fallen because I already had my heart set on a particular model from Dell.

The brands Lenovo, Asus, Toshiba and Vaio fared favorably among critics. The thing was, I had a not-so-great experience with the Asus brand. Toshiba and Vaio are way over my budget while Lenovo knows squat when  it comes to aesthetics.

lenovo-ideapad-y650-front



I might settle for a mid-ranged Toshiba or a fully loaded Lenovo. I heard good things from the Lenovo brand, it garnered the rep as being one of the best laptop brand when it comes to performance though its design is nothing to be excited about.

Hopefully before April ends, I'll have a perfectly running laptop sitting in my room.

Epic Adventure

The videoke thing last Saturday was awesome. True, it wasn't overly spectacular because a couple of my friends were not able to make it but honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. As usual, I belted out a mind-bending rendition of Quit Playing Games with My Heart by The Backstreet Boys, haunting everyone within three-mile radius with my leprechaun-like voice. I'm glad that it was funner than expected despite making the mistake of choosing a lameass venue. I swear I don't remember that place employing waiters who served food at a snail's pace or those godawful mics that fails at the wrong time. Pissed as I was, it was too late to change venues so I went ahead with what I got.

Monday, I met up with two of my best buds and ended up going back to my place, with them in tow, by the end of the morning. We spent the whole afternoon cooking, eating, showing off our tats to each other, watching depravity and laughing our heads off over nothing in particular. Oh, and there was this surreal moment that involved rancid plastic bags and stinky goo but I won't go into detail. God, just thinking about it males me wanna melt in shame. Plans were also made, one business venture and two adventures! It'll be epic!

Finally, I'm back here in quiet Paniqui. I decided to quit looking for a full time gig and do freelance writing instead. Sure, the payout isn't much but it's alright.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Hick in The City (A Continuation)

I finally dragged my ass to the office and I'm happy to report that this time around, I didn't have to wait for three fucking hours to get the documents I needed. I didn't bother telling my officemates that I was about to drop by because I wanted to leave that place as immediate as I could manage. The place and some of the people in it just infuriates me. Sadly, the thing took longer than anticipated and soon enough, familiar faces came pouring in. Seeing them for the first time in two months only intensifiedthe feeling that I no longer belong to the city much like the feeling that I no longer belong to my old circle. It's clear that this chapter of my life is over and I was somewhat disheartened to see everyone. I appreciate the heads up though:

Interestingly enough, they have a new business venture, making E-Books. From what I heard it's a nice way to make some dough and the payout is pretty hefty however, I could not find the enthusiasm to be a part of it when a collegue of mine asked if I wanted to join in on the fray. As it turns out, they will also have a brief get-together shortly after. I decided not to go either since I have nothing to contribute.

Also, another officemate got the proverbial ax. That's unfortunate considering that he just recently moved in to a new house and with no income on sight, it'll be hard paying the bills. I feel for him because to a certain extent, he and I shares that same fate. Best of luck to him, then.

And finally, as expected, most of my officemates pointed out my growing gut. One even jokingly asked if I was pregnant.

Oh, those impertinent fuckwits.

That shining moment only cemented my burning resolve to quit fucking around and start exercising again. It'll be hard but I think I can manage to once again fight my losing battle against the bulge.

Hick in The City

Two months after I quit work, I find, with great dismay, that the saga continues. One of the few things most people don't know about me is that I have a book keeper. Yeah, just when you thought I couldn't be any more boring than I already am, hehehhe. See, this person has been under my mom's employ for years and years and it was only natural than I let her handle my affairs as well (not that there's much of it).

Right after I left ol' cubicle land, I asked my book keeper to track down and see if my old company has been paying my Social Security account. I'm not really a paranoid person but I must admit that I was worried that my ex-bosses were stiffing me considering the fact that they were not really known to keep their end of the bargain and they are such cheapskates. I just had to see if I'm getting what I have been paying for.

Well, if the people at the main office of SSS are to be believed, it seems that my company have not paid a single cent to the eight months that I worked for them. One would be piss-hissing mad however, these are the same folks who, not too long ago, made the error of stating that Iweb hasn't paid my SSS account when in fact they did (I think). So I took that report with a grain of salt. The bad news is I was told by my book keeper that to get to the bottom of this, I had to come back to the office and retrieve the proof of payments so that she can have it encoded. Gah!

I honestly hate that place now. I hate the sight of it, I hate the smell of it and I hate the idea of breathing the same air with those suck-ups. But what I hate about that place the most is hearing another one of female ex-boss' monotonous verbal diarreah. She ticks me off. Maybe it's the monotonous way she delivers her piece that makes it seem like she's about to slip into catatonia mid-sentence, the dead-eyed stare that cmes with it, her non-existent managing skills, or her total lack respect for other people's time, I dunno. She just... ticks me off. Needless to say, confronting her about the company's alleged negligence to pay its bills will be a daunting experience.

To make matters worse, my gut is unbelievably ginormous now! I swear, this thing qualifies for a zip code of its own! I end this entry by quoting Mojo Jojo:  "Cuuuuurrrrr-seeeeeeeeessss."

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: A Review

I just watched the live pilot telecast of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last Tuesday. I have seen this SNL alum in action many times and he is a spectacular comedian that's why I was expecting him to be great as a talk show host as well. However, I soon found out that there is a fine line between being good at at starring in hilarious sketches and hosting a late night show... in New York, no less.

Conan O'Brien, the show's former host is one tough act to follow and Jimmy might have jumped into the gig a bit too early. Being a long time fan of Conan O'Brien's brand of comedy,  I felt that there was something lacking with the new show but seeing Jimmy's lengthy resume, I'm pretty sure he was a worthy replacement.

I noticed a few things that made the pilot episode a hugeass dud. Usually, the show starts off by a long monologue about current events with scathing jokes interjected every now and then. In Jimmy's case, he started off pretty underwhelming with tepid jokes (except for the brilliant bit about Microsoft) that hardly registered any chuckles from the audience.

One thing that shed a glaring light that the show was going downhill was when the show was about to take a short break, Jimmy actually said "Stick around, we'll be right back... Please!" Like, he just knew some people watching in their home were just about ready to flip the remote and tune in to HBO instead.

On a positive note, he did have a great line up of guests. Robert DeNiro, Justin Timberlake and Van Morrison appeared on the show. However, it was the part where he was interviewing the guests that gave a clear impression on how nervous Jimmy was.. or how bored Robert DeNiro was with the whole thing, for that matter. Jimmy couldn't convey his thoughts and questions towards the guests right and he sounded totally unsure when to inject humor the whole time he was talking to Robert and Justin. The unfunny sketch he did together with Robert right after the break didn't help much to lighten up the show. One unforgettable WTF moment in that segment was, as Jimmy was trading banters with Justin, he got totally disoriented with the flow of the interview that he blurted out, "I'm lost" while frantically checking the index cards laid out in his desk! There were also minor booboos with the audio during Van Morrison's performance but hey, this is the pilot episode, everyone was probably jumpy.

It was obviously a daunting experience for Jimmy as he has huge shoes to fill but I wasn't expecting the show to start out with such lackluster result. The show's unimpressiveness made me miss former host, goofball Conan and his ridiculously glorious hairdo! I really felt bad for Jimmy because that gig was probably one of the most harrowing experience of his career and unfortunately, it reflected on his performance.

Despite a disappointing beginning, I have high hopes that the show is bound to improve after a few weeks. Everyone on the show just needs to regain their footing and come up with fresh, hilarious materials to really get the show rolling. As for the host, he needs to loosen, work on his showmanship and learn to connect effectively with the audience.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Jurassic Tina

I turned a year older today. So far it's been... weird. I still can't believe I'm 26, my gosh! I'm practically ancient! I'm touched that people who are very much important to me remebered this day (was also mildly surprised that some people whom I thought doesn't know when my birthday is rang me up at seven in the morning, hahaha!). It was really surprising... a glaring reminder of how totally Jurassic I've become.

I'm not used to celebrating my birthday with a bang, really. Now, before I sound any more pathetic than I already do, lemme elaborate. Usually, I just ring up a few friends and celebrate by gorging ourselves with meat as soon as the sun sets. No noisy parties, beer bongs or shit like that. Damn right, I can come up with just about the most boring celebrations ever.

However, I plan on something a little different this year. I won't go into detail but it shoul be fun.

As always, my birthday almost coincides with our town fiesta and that means  going to the town fair every once in a while to check out the festivities and the hotcakes with my mom and my brother. So there we went and it was fun. Amidst the flurry of festivities, I was deep in thoughts. I noticed that I wasn't as hyped up this time as I used to as a kid and that really saddened me a bit. I missed the days when, as a child, everything was magical. Every nook and cranny held wonderful surprises and the world was a mystery waiting to be unraveled. Seeing how ecstatic Joaquin was that night, I wished I could still relate completely to his child-like views of everything. That would be lovely.

But of course, that would be asking too much. I just wish I could turn back time and not hurry myself to grow up. Ghad.

On a lighter note, I am now an official... voter! Woooot! Yeah, like, totally! Yesterday, I went to the Comelec office here in Paniqui and formally arranged things so that come 2010, I can exercise my right to choose the next leader of this sordid, sordid country. Okay, the thing was, I was after the I.D. because I really need all the valid I.D.s I could get my hands on but I was dismayed to learn that it'll take a full year before I can get one. Go fucking figure.