Victory is Mine! Mine, I tell You! Mine!!!

As expected, I won The Buffering Blog for the First (and hopefully not the last) Kablag Awards, bitches! It feels absolutely gratifying to know all the bandwidths I wasted away during my most trying of petiks times has not been in vain. I would've been all choked up except I don't have any humanity left in me anymore. But op cors, with that comes my acceptance speech. This will be an extremely long one because frankly, I've never won anything in my entire life before and I will be taking this one shining opportunity to vent all of my pent-up frustrations out that I've had since the day I realized I maybe not the type who wins shit for shit (which was, roughly around the day I was born) In case you're wondering: YES, kinakarir ko to, wala kayong pakealam! Wala! Ijot!!!

Kiss My Cert, Bitches!!!

Now excuse me but I will now be indulging myself with the speech. If you have better things to do better not read the following, for the braver bunch who likes to head on to unchartered territories, bow down before the greatness of The Buffering God and prepare yourself for the Great God of Awesomeness speaks:
Oh mhy ghad!!! OH MHY PHAKING GHAD!!! I didn't expect this, I swear!!! You love me!!! You really love me!!! Shetness, di ko alam san magu-umpisa (holds the virtual Kablag Trophy with a kung-fu grip, sabay kapa sa bulsa at naglabas ng yellow paper)

*First, I would like to thank the almighty God, Our Father who made all of these possible!!! I loves you!!!

My greatest gratitude goes to the people I owe everything to, my parents, family and relatives, who thought I wouldn't amount to anything much but still gave me their support for all the crazy stunts I pulled over the years! Who's crazy in the head now, huh?! I have the award you guys don't!!! (insert Evil Laugh here)

Thank you to my college professor, Mr. Kurtading, you are the worst teacher a student could ever have. This might be a good time for me to say, I hated you and I should've passed Fundamentals of Broadcasting if you haven't “overlooked” the .2 shit. Now, I got an award and you don't, bwehehahahaaha!!!!

A big thanks to my short-but sweet stint at ABS-CBN, home of favoritism, nepotism and back-stabbing chisms. An arrogant fresh-from-college girl got humbled profoundly, learned to NOT set foot at that cursed hell-hole ever again and got an award for it, cuuuuntttsss!!!!

To the bestest company in the whole wide world... of the Ortigas area and the insanely wonderful people behind it, thank you, thank you! Kiss my award and be in awe of my Greatness and shit!!!

To my adoring public who loves me very plenty, I am profoundly honored for allowing me to keep you sick fucks entertained and it makes my cold black heart sing hallelujah to the highest level at the mere thought that your pc's gets stuck in suspended animation whenever you attempt to scope out my blog. Four words: Get Faster Internet Connection.

This award is especially dedicated to the enemies I made over the years, you guys are the source of inspiration behind my lovely little blog. You are my amusement, my reason for living and the reason why you make my uncombed hair, worn-out sneakers, ratty band shirts and even rattier jacket look gooood. Keep messing your lives up so you can continue on entertaining the rest of us, yeah? I heart you guys and gays! Chocolate Kisses! I won! I won!!! I fucking won, fuckers!!!

As you can see, it's obvious that I didn't lie about the whole Never-Won-A-Thing-Boo-Hoo-shit. Thanks to Ayan! Oo nga pala, my pahabol na personal note to you about this:

Buffering Blog Award

Tina Lee

- ewan ko kung dsl ko or yung pc ko mabagal or si Eddie Vedder ang nagpabagal magload sa blogsite mo

prizes:

1. a friendly advice : bawasan mo na lang mga kanta sa playlist si Vedder lang naririnig lage (except sa mahahabang posts) at wag mo autoplay


2. hopefully kablag trophy soon

* I dunno about the Eddie Vedder thing, I mean he's so freakishly sexy I could not possibly help myself for devoting my time plastering his songs all over my blog but the auto-play thing is taken care of... for now :I*

To the rest of the winners go and celebrate! To the losers, bitter este... better luck next year! If it's any consolation, I'm letting you guys touch my cert for 5 minutes but you have to pay me 10 pesoses.

Hey , cut me some slack, I got mouths to feed.

Fatalities On The War Of The Ratings

Kids, I'm warming up on my acceptance speech and it will be up probably on Monday (Be warned, it's a long one. Explanation comes after I post it). If anyone is laughing because I'm taking the whole "Buffering Blog Award" thing seriously, all I can say is: Laugh all you want, but I'd still be milking this shit for a long, long time. To give justice to the award I just won, enjoy these videos. Oh, thanks to Lui for giving me the links for these. It's Joey De Leon of Eat Bulaga! (exclamation point theirs, not mine) vs Willie Revillame of Wowowee (stupidity of the noontime show title theirs, not mine)

The flame that ignited the little incident:

As you can see, there seems to be something amiss with Wowowee's 2 million jackpot prize!

The next video you're gonna see is that of Joey giving it a go at Willie:

The third video is of Willie, tearfully firing back at Joey's allegations:

Now, it's been a long time since I watched any of these noon-time shows but coming from a person who briefly worked on one of these broadcasting stations I'd say, clearly it's just War Of The Ratings. It's been like that then and from the looks of it, pretty much still going on today. And just so you know, the two million thing has always been a scam. Everybody knows it but nobody really says anything about it.

The Stampede Incident and the cover-ups that went with it was unforgivable enough. People who ought to be jailed got away with barely a scratch on 'em. Exploiting poor people and reducing them into a bunch of dancing monkeys who would eagerly do cart-wheels for a dollar or two, all for the glory of higher ratings and the entertainment of the foreigners. It's disgusting. Dunno about Eat Bulaga's case though.

But it gets so out of hands sometimes that they resort to bad-mouthing each other on-air. I don't approve any of these things since I've been on more that one occassion, got attacked online. It's the coward's way but of course that's another story. Bottom-line, it's just ridiculous how grown men gets too sucked-up on these kinds of shit when their name and credibility are on the line.

But just the same, it's pure entertainment for the rest of us.

When The Shit Hits The Fan: You Get Nominated

What an interesting bit of news. Turns out, Yours Truly is nominated for the First Kablag Awards. Lemme give you a hand and show you what Kablag is all about. Sez right here that:

“KABLAG Awards aims to recognize or more aptly dishonor, dissed, have a crack on filipino owned blogs and showcase the brave new world of free bloggers for betterment or deterioration of humanity who read posts religiously on a daily basis... ”

For the rest of the details check out this link, bitches!

I EAT SHIT FOR BREAKFAST

The Mundane Side Of the Road is nominated for the following award:

Em-bed Blog Award
(if you're wondering why I put the - on that word it's because stinkin' Blogspot thinks it's an error. Idiot.)

Buffering Blog Award

Blog Of The Universe and The God of Awesomeness... Oh wait, I mean year. Blog of The Year! Geez. My bad!

1 and half months back, I decided to stop posting shit on my Friendster and Multiply accounts because simply put, I got tired of my friends reading my online brain diarrhea and started the “lovely little blog” you're reading right now here, in hopes of anonymity .

Well, I certainly didn't expect my fairly new playground to get me in a minor girl trouble much more being nominated in any “Award-Giving Bodies” because let's face it, I wasn't really waiting expectantly for any profound reaction when I wrote the word “Mundane” together with “Mediocre” to accurately describe the content of this blog I got going right here. You guys have absolutely no idea how surprised I get everyfuckingtime to know that people actually take time on reading useless bits of shit that is well, my blog.

If only I have an idea who this guy/girl is so I can personally see to it that I give him half of my earnings to guarantee my victory for the Buffering Blog Award, hahaha! Seriously though, I don't think I'd be able to compete, Nina and Jeo's blogs are awesome but hey, being nominated is good enough for me. To the cool dude who is orchestrating the whole shebang, the girl who loves expounding on the mediocre thanks you very much! For a person who doesn't take blog seriously this is a very delicious honor, indeed. Good luck to the nominees!

* Now, I don't need to tell you I'm already composing my acceptance speech because that's the kind of a sick fuck I am, what I'm trying to say is, for the rest of the dorks who reads my blog how about you make yourselves useful and vote for me, you stinkin' little piece of filthy pantyliner! I jest, I jest... actually, I kinda meant that one, hahahaha!

From The Mundane Side of The Road,

The Bane of A Single Woman's Existence: Clogged Sink

Living independently has it's perks. I can go home for as late as I want, I can re-decorate my room without anyone complaining about the sordid color schemes I choose, hell, I can even eat ice cream for breakfast without the 'rents breathing down my neck. But just like everything else, there are down-sides. You pay the bills, you clean your own room, you do your own laundry. It's a pain in the ass but you gnash your teeth in silence because that's what “being an adult” is all about.

For the most part I'd say I came in terms with these changes quite splendidly. Except for one thing, fixing a clogged sink. The apartment we transferred in a good two months back was already giving us problems the minute we opened the faucet, the water takes a hell lot of time to drain out, our mistake was dismissing this little incident as nothing short of an insignificant kink. I thought nothing more of it, boy, was I wrong.

Three weeks ago, it came to a point where we can't use the damn sink anymore. My sister and the landlady had a talk about it. Seems like we couldn't get them to fix it right away since the plumber is and will be unavailable for a good three weeks. We suggested that we look for another plumber but the dear ol' landlady sez the plumber is under contract and it would be such a waste to find another one to replace him. The old crone suggested we pour boiling water on the sink until her stupid plumber comes (which we did but did absolutely nothing, we were desperate what can I say?)

I'm not exactly what you'd call a neat-freak but the sight of the clogged sink pissed me off everyday and I wouldn't have it anymore. Our first thought was buying a large bottle of Liquid Sosa. Every single women would know Liquid Sosa does wonders, right? I mean, the commercial says: "Tunaw Agad and Bara" that kinda sums it all up, yeah? In theory, yes. We asked our all-knowing dear ol' mom and she said that it's nothing but a bunch of bullshit and suggested we use this thing instead:


Alam ko medyo tanga ha pero honestly, I don't even know the name of this thing and my mom was throwing instructions on how to use it but from what little I gathered, it'll take too slow and takes too much of an effort to do (not to mention, the mess you have to clean up after the “operation”).

*A reader was kind enough to fill the stupid author in on the name of the image displayed above:

"The first item your mom asked you to use is the good ole PLUNGER. Good for sinks, bathroom drains, and toilet bowls. Also good for the mouth for a comic relief or if you just want to be grossed out. Hehehe."

Thanks, Sasi!*

We were stubbornly sticking to our Liquid Sosa theory until my mom brought me another contraption:



Now this looks promising. What you do is you stick the end of this motherfucker within the clogged pipe, give it a good push here and there and maybe twirl the contraption once or twice and it should get rid of the shit. Eager to clean the whole mess up right away, I gave it a go (this might be a good time to tell you that I inherited the balls in the family). I got the thing going under my mom's instructions and it worked like a dream! Be warned though, that was the easy part.

The harder part was cleaning the contraption right after you got rid of the clogged muck. It's strange that lots of tangled hair, mixed with mucky shit was the culprit behind the little incident that bothered us for nearly a month(let me take this opportunity to say, shame on the tenants who lived in our apartment for more than a year. A couple of doctors and yet they don't have half the brain to know you shampoo your hair in the bathroom NOT on the sink. You stupid, shit-for-brain son of a whore!). I dunno which is worst, yanking those shitty fur out or smelling the fucking horrid odor while doing it. Shit man, it was gross! To get out of that one, I whined and whined until my sister did the yanking-out-thing for me, the balls I was talking about didn't quite cover the grosser part of the job, y'know?

There it ends, ze sink that has been the bane of my mornings is finally in fine form again and I couldn't be happier! Muy bien!

For all the urbanized single women out there with no man to help them out with this kind of shit, including the retarded ex-tenants of our present apartment, here's a tip: Use a fucking sink strainer. Do yourself a favor, save yourself a lot of shitty mess and just fucking use one.

Ze WebDate "I Quote You" : Take A Giant Whiff of Nostalgia!

Two weeks ago, three of my friends took a long walk down memory lane and with that, Ze WebDate "I Quote You" notebook was born (to jog some sense on the subject please proceed to--> EAT ME and EAT ME TOO). So, Basically what they did was they compiled the funniest wise cracks from the people behind the team that was formerly known as WebDate, to be "immortalized" (well, not really but you get the point) on a little blue Corona Notebook. There.

So with that in mind, I stole the book like the little crook that I am, held it hostage but not before sharing the funniest quotes each has been known to have said one time or another. So nice of me, right? I knoooow! So without further ado, I give you: Ze Bits Of Ze WebDate Wisdom (... and remember folks, Don't Leave Home Without It!)

"Naniniwala kami sa Pre-Marital Sex!"
--- Ed

"Ang kulit mo naman eh! Para kang si Jean Saburit!"
--- Polgas (Honorary WebDate Member)

"Sabi nung nurse may neuro-something daw yung girlfriend ko. Tinanong ko kung anong tawag dun sa sakit nya sa tagalog, sabi KSP lang daw"
--- Disengaged Rene

"Hindi pa ako nagkakaron (ng period) Dapat nung 12, kasi di ba 12 ang birthday mo, Benny?"

--- Hannah Beh

"Magre-resign na ako. Naghahanap daw ng vocalist ang Rivermaya!"

--- Raffy

"Ever Present Always Lage!"
--- Roschie Poshie (asked on what the word EPAL means)

"And di nyo alam, yung nipples ni Ed, portal yan sa keps ni Enna"
--- Tina (Nguso Pose Pioneer)

"Tapos yun pala, yung bihon (READ: tentacle schlong) ko may sariling isip tas gagapang sila papasok sa pwet ko"
--- Benny Bentot

"Nag-DVD marathon kasi ako eh kaya di ako naka-pasok"
--- Renzy (on her excuse for being absent)

"Hindi po kami maingay, masyado lang po silang tahimik"
--- Rhae (on being asked by the COO why the team are always noisy on the Parwati working area)

"Coffee lang naman ah! Hindi naman ako nagpo-propose ng kasal!!!"
--- Paeng

"Tangina si Rhae! Sinipa ako sa puke!!!"

--- Enna (keepin' it classy on the crowded streets of Makati)

"Can you keep me buckling with pleasure all night long?"
--- Kitchie (accidentally ym-ed this exact message to her guy friend when she meant to respond with a flirty come-on to an American named Buckie, a sleazy adult site member)

"Ano to, forced issue?!"
--- Edce (hence, the production outfit known as Forced Issue was born)

Geniusness!! Brilliantness! Magaling, Magaling, Magaling!

Rockin' Revelry!

Last Saturday we showed support on Loubelle's big event, Revelry at Kublai's! The bands featured were awesome!

(Image courtesy of Ada)

It was a great opportunity to listen to good music, get rowdy with friends, drink booze and more importantly, an excellent excuse to start Cam-Whoring! Got me ze slide show that took me a while to up since our "Official Photographer" took his sweet time before uploading the pics on his multiply account! And so...

Kickass Event, Loubelle!

Bong Alvarez Gets His Ass OWNED!!!

* Sorry for the minor errors with the news anchor. I thought she is a PBB host, wahahahah! My bad!

Well, well, well! This is interesting news indeed. I got word that shit-faced Bong Alvarez got into a nasty little scuffle with a woman! That's right bitches, a woman... Dude went loony faster than you can say "Pussy" and elbowed a certain TV host/news anchor/whatevershit, Gretchen Malalad, right in the jaw.

Of course, this happened after he maimed a random taxi driver. What's interesting is that, I heard (too bad for Bong) Gretchen Malalad happens to be a black belter in Martial Arts. Bitch didn't waste time landing a good knuckle sandwich and definitely owned Bong's surprised ass on this fight! Below is the actual footage of the incident:

Damn. He is way out of line with this schinzz! I feel bad for the girl since the guy isn't exactly what you'd call petite, yeah? But then again, the girl isn't exactly what you'd call, meek and helpless either. "Mr. Excitement" he sure is.

Cheers, Karate Bitch!

The Rosch and Jumai Monday Experience

As I explained one blog ago, this is a long-overdue post because the vids took so long to get but well, I don't really care! Before anything else:

Shout-Out To the Raket Scientist Guy/Girl: Read your blog, man. Surprisingly, I even got to see the little NBI raid shit I did back in March. Hope you don't mind me linking you here on my lovely little blog! Thanks man, you rock!
Okay, so every God-forsaken Monday, when the clock strikes at exactly 12 o'clock (noon, dear.) A handful of talented Iweb employees are carefully chosen to perform and bitchslap the eating but close to dozing off crowd back to reality! Fun, is it not?

Last Monday my girlfriends, Roschie Poshie and Jumai got together and wowed the crowd with their ever-fantatistic musical warblings! I was barely able to contain myself with excite because I know how fucking good they are! And now I got dem proofs, bitches!

Now dearies, Below are the few surviving videos that Rosch Flores hasn't gotten rid of... yet. I laid my life and earthly belongings trying to protect these vids, took me and my friends a fucking long time to put up so if anybody disses my blog with dirty, petty comments again I'll personally see to it that you get your lovely little head bonked (not once but twice) against your computer monitor, mmkay?

Cool. Now, the first video is of Roschie Poshie doing an outstanding rendition of the song "So Slow" by FreeStyle.

She nailed it! Next, here's the irrepressible Jumai and her (yes, she's a girl. She has the pussy to prove it too) version of "Bakit Ngayon Ka Lang" originally performed by Ogie Alcasid.

She shoots, she scores! Awesome right? I tried my best to upload the 7-minute long vid (been trying my darnedest since last week, to tell you the truth) but for some reason unknown to me, it won't. It drove me nuts so that's about it I guess.

Tootles!

The Screw-Up Slacker

*For lack of better things to do, (and the fact that the fucking video of Rosch and Jumai won't fucking upload and has tested my patience far more than any real person ever did. The vid's gonna be on Monday) I'll be sharing a gem of a convo between me and my boss. I keep reading Jeo's blogs about The Sordid Ones and I gotta say he's the inspiration behind this. Tootles!

My boss is as you all know, a wise-cracking white guy. You probably see him prancing around the HB area and farting like there's no tomorrow one time or another. In this particular incident, he caught me scoping out Perez Hilton.com at 10 in the morning. If catching me not doing my job isn't bad enough:

Boss: Tina, have you introduced Meg as our new CJ writer at SickSite News?

Tina: Ummm... no.

Boss: Why is that?

Tina: Ummm... (thinks of a good excuse for 5 seconds) I don't like her.

Boss: I'm sorry?

Tina: I don't like her, she's boring.

Boss: Oh. Really?

Tina: Yeah, Dave is good though.

Boss: ... Yeah. I heard Kurt is a hilarious guy too. What do you think?

Tina: Yeah, I like them both.

Boss: Umm... okay. Just introduce Meg today okay?

Tina: Okay. (Mentally smacks her forehead)

In my defense, part of what I said is true. She bores me to tears and I hate her because as a writer, she sucks donkey balls. If you don't believe me, CLICK HERE YOU DORK! But that's not really a good excuse, is it? The real reason was I totally forgot to do it because I was too busy checking out what kind of trouble Lindsay Lohan got herself into at the moment. Maybe next time I should just shut the fuck up and admit I screwed up, yeah?

Stupid cunt. Makin' me look bad. I jest, I jest!

God Hates You All, Bitches!

* Real brain farts suspended as pics are unavailable at the moment. It's supposed to be about Jumai and Rosch's fantabulous performance last Monday. To make up for it, enjoy the vid below, why dontcha?

Tootles! Do you ever wonder what happens after you've said your prayers to God? Why are some prayers left unanswered? Boy, are you in luck or what! Because now y'all will find out what becomes of your pathetic little prayers when it reaches the Omniscient One!

Even the Big Guy Hates Spammers!

God Hates Yer Prayers, Bitches!

So It Ends: We Owe It All To Stephen King

I was reading a book last Sunday that (unknowingly then) would eventually put an end to a long-standing civil “war” (honestly, war would be an exaggeration but I'm quoting Rene on this so bleah) between me and a couple of old friends. The book is obviously by Stephen King (given by my sister because she knows how I love gore and the likes) I was already reading two books prior to that one (The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and Strange Highways by Dean Koontz) but I am quite entertained by It, I couldn't help but finish the damned thing. I mean, look at that handsome fellow below! That face, that eyes! You can't help but fall!

I see You, Bitches!

The book played a major part on ending some shit I've been through simply because of the plot. The story is about 7 childhood friends who, in order to fight a faceless monster (I'm saying faceless because he's a shape-shifting motherfucker) must rediscover their past, fulfill a childhood promise and re-connect with old friends.

You know how it is when you read a book, in your head you visualize the story, trying to breathe life on every scenes? How you would imagine what every character is like? Well that strange Sunday, it's funny how I realized I was reading a book but my mind kinda drifted off to other pressing matters. Without meaning to, it made me feel tired about all these shit (notice how vague I am all of a sudden?)

Well, you can say I took a long hard look over the past and beyond being pissed, it got me thinking and I daresay, even got me sad. Everything was wrong on so many levels. Wrong and boring. I just got tired of it. I can choose to ignore some issues but it appears, the feud shalt noth be ignored.

Could it be I'm turning into a softie?! Could be. The book put some things into perspective and made me see the error of my ways. It bothered me enough that I pulled a rain check on Mr. King and (through the wonders of technology) messaged a couple of friends and vowed to fix whatever it is that needed to be fixed. Well as it turns out, I can say everything is totally peachy on this side of the road. Finally, I caught a break!

One thing I wanted to clear up is that I was never sorry for all the things I did back then, the feelings I had towards the thing we had a problem with, was real. What I 'm sorry for is my refusal to hear you guys out. Being a stubborn ass that I am, I had no plans whatsoever to fix it, frankly. But when we got to talk about it, we didn't actually explain each other's side. By this time, I knew it's pointless to even talk about it. I guess because we all knew some things should be left unsaid.

It was more like, “So, what were you up to the time when we weren't speaking to each other” thing. Conversations flowed easily which is kinda reminiscent of that old familiar feeling you get wearing a nice comfy sneakers you haven't worn in years but couldn't bring yourself to throw away (nice scratches, scuffs here and there, worn-out beyond repair, but fits you like a glove)

From taking a bus ride to Cebu to boners. Y'know, the usual. The good news is, it's officially over. Incidentally, the guys were planning a little Antipolo get-together a few weeks from now, and I'm beyond excited.

It'll be an honor seeing them shit-faced again, wahahahhah!

This Is Just Awesome!

I stumbled upon this hilarious vid thanks to a good friend, it's absolutely fantastic! The guy did a sign language/mime/Idon'thaveafuckingcluewhatthehellhe'sdoing rendition of the song "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia! The guy totally blew the audience away! The coolest thing of all? Somebody dropped in and joined the crazy shit!

It boggles the mind, pare.

Feeling Strangely Fine

* If God made the universe through a computer, here's how it's must've been done: CLICK ME, BITCHES!

Strange. Two nights ago, I was hanging-out with my friends and I suddenly remembered an old conversation I had with snotty little Hannah! I don't know why I keep thinking about but it makes me laugh every freakin' time!

Tina: May lisp ka eh, no?
Hannah: Lisp?
Tina: Sabihin mo nga Ess?
Hannah: ... Essth...
Tina: Yun, meron
Hannah: Huh? (looked confused) Essth...? Wala kaya akong lisp!
Tina: Tanga, meron!
Hannah: Wala kaya!
Tina: Ay, putangina ang kulet! Kung wala kang lisp, sabihin mo mga "She sells seashells by the Sea Shore"?!

(5 seconds of silence)

Hannah: Ayoko nga, di ko kaya.

(Laughter)

Tina: Lisp, pare. Lisp.

Wahahahhahahaha! Gets me every time, I just love it!

Anywoo, saw a cool video from Telsa! Man, the 80's rocks sooo hard!!!

Love Song
Tesla

How cool is that?! Awesome! It's like Nick Carter on crack with the devil on his fingers! Frank Hannon is the schnizz! Glam Rock Forever!

Brilliant, Fucking Brilliant!

This Is Beyond Hilarious!

Guys! If you loved the Filipino Parody of "M.J.'s Thriller MTV" check out the continuation! The spotlight is on for the tranny! It's Awesome!

Enjoy!

OMFG, These Pictures are Funneh!!!

* Sorry for constant pic uploads my good friend wanted to contribute a few more hilarious pic!

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, out of boredom, I've managed to compile the funniest pictures I've accumulated while having the time of my life with friends from IwebMasters. Man, those were the days. Let's start off with our fag of a Recruitment Head:

This pic is definitely the SHIT!!!
(for the record, he's straight... I think.) This fantabulous pic was taken on our way to Tagaytay

Polgas' Hobo Look

One of those memorable O.T. Bar moments

I'm finding it hard to back-up my claim that Paul is not gay. He really makes it hard, hahaha!

Somebody reserved Ed a seat!

Ed's facial expression just slays me, wahhhahahah!

Ed and Butt-Boy Paolo's Puerto Galera tryst

Glam Princess? Stat-ue?

To funny for words, wahahahahhah!

The Art of Seduction by Beanie Benny

Rhae copping a nice handful of Benny's Family Jewels at Puerto Galera



Huli ka!

Ay... hindi pala!

The text pretty much said what needs to be said.

(Not sure if they're straight though, especially the butt-boy with long-hair and bleached blond high-lights . Looks gay to me)

I still laugh when I see these babies hahahah!

Hahahah! Nipple-Licking

Nipple-slip? Mmm.... karne.....

The Paengster's Rare Fag Pic

The Facial Expression only a mother could love

Yes, We're mocking you! Wahahahhahaha!

"The Retro is Strong On This One"

Fuckin' Priceless, hahhahah!

Rooting For The Little People

Most people would be surprised to know that I get along with kids better than with adults. I dunno, may be because I have the same E.Q. as that of a three-year old or maybe because the kid in me just refuses to grow up. I think I'd prefer the latter, hahaha! These tiny little people invigorates me far more than a 5-day vacation, they really do. I always have the most hilarious time asking them trivial question. You see, the trick with kids is that to treat them like an adult. Kids can smell fear, that's for sure.

I know some people who'd cringe at the mere thought of being stuck with a toddler all day. Actually, I don't really look forward on being stuck with a toddler myself but I kinda think I could hold my own when the need arises. Anyways, I headed up north last weekend to spend time with my 3 year old baby brother and my 4 year old nephew. You know, when you go out with two toddlers in tow, it would be sensible to be ready when things goes batshitcrazy. In all my smugness, they sure as hell got me the time we went out for lunch.

Yeah, I'm not even sure if what happened fits the funny or the crazy side. , I was treating them lunch. My nephew's name BJ, is short for Brian Jay (Sharaaaap...!) and my baby bro is Waki, short for Joaquin. Kids do and say the darnedest things, I tell you.

10 minutes after the food arrived

BJ: “Aunt Tina, I wanna puke”

Tina: “Really? Are you serious?”

BJ: yes

Tina: “Have you taken lunch before we got here?”

I looked at his soup, saw that it was barely touched and got a bit worried.

BJ: “no”

So here I am, alone with two kids and one is about to puke. It's every single women's worst nightmare. Stuck with two kids on a busy crowd and no one to help you out. I looked at my 3 year old brother and said:

Tina: “Baby, BJ is about to throw up. Is it okay if we go to the bathroom for a sec while you wait here?”

Waki: (nodding his head ) “okay”

I know it's bad to leave a 3 year old kid all by himself but the thing was, this is a small town and most of the people who was there know me and my brother, second, the minute Waki sees someone puke, well he will puke his guts out too (I've seen it happen the first time) I know I shouldn't leave him there but I had no choice, my nephew looked green around the gills already.

So I briefed my brother to not talk to strangers, look after the food and promised that I'll be back in a flash. He nodded his head solemnly and looked worriedly at BJ. We trotted to the bathroom but we never made it to the sink, BJ puked the minute I opened the door. Why go to the sink when he can pretty much have the freedom to puke on his aunt's left foot, right?

When I asked him if he still wanna throw up, he shook his head and said, he wants to go back to our table. We got back and I saw my brother right where I left him, wolfing down a heaping spoonful of pancit-palabok. We sat and I continued fussing over them. Waki was a bit surprised that we got back real quick and asked if BJ is gonna be okay. I smiled, assured him that BJ is okay while I continue wiping food from his mouth, BJ is back in in his usual greedy self, slurping melted sundae.

5 seconds later:

Waki: “I wanna puke too”

I looked at Waki squarely, and with all seriousness, I asked:

Tina: “Seriously?”

Waki: “I have a rock stuck in here...” (points at his throat)

I looked long and hard at Waki, then shifted my gaze at my nephew. BJ seemed to have read my mind (bless his mischievous little heart).

BJ: “It's okay Tita, you can leave me here and I'll look after the food”

That's all I needed to hear. I hurriedly escorted my baby brother at the bathroom and we even made it to the sink. He puked ten seconds later. Man, This is actually the second time they held a Puking Contest. After everyone was done throwing up, I told them to finish the Ice Cream fast because we are about to leave, no point on sticking around for round two.

When I got home, I told my Aunt what happened and she said:

Aunt: “Yes, he's been sick last night. I told him he's gonna have to make a trip to the doctor for a check-up. He got scared and said he didn't want to. I asked him how do you expect to get well?
He said, I'm just gonna pray (to God) to get well.”

Sha-zaaam! How cool is that?

Fast-forward 8:30 PM, I tucked my little brother in and he was about to fall asleep. This is my favorite time to ask him trivial questions because I'm thinking if kids do lie, they'd be too sleepy to even try when their about to doze off right?

Tina: “So are you happy at school?” (He's into the Day-Care stage of his life)

Waki: “Yes, very much... I'm happy”

Tina: “Even though Neneng isn't there?”

Neneng is the nick of this girl he has a “crush” on. He's three what does he know, right? But I get a kick out of teasing him about it.

Waki: “Yes, I like Neneng. I have a crush on her”

Tina: (chuckling) “Really? But what if you find out she doesn't like you back? What would you do?”

Waki: “She likes me”

Tina: “Yeah? How do you know?”

Waki: “Because I have a heart”

Always rooting for the little people,