Good Food + Good Friends + Music = Bliss.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
End of An Era
There are a number of things I should have written about and last Sunday I was supposed to do just that but I didn't know where to start. In the end, I ditched the idea altogether. Now that things ain't so shitty anymore, I decided that yeah, I'll try to piece together the damn week that it was and let things be. Such a lovely idea.Maybe I should take my own advice.
I'm finally over my depression over leaving Porno Land. I have come to live with the fact that yes, it was fun while it lasted, yes, I'll miss the Golden Days and yes, I'll miss the damn pool but sometimes we tend to cling to what little is left of the happier days, hoping that things will be better in the coming days and realize that no, it won't. At this point I feel that I'm way past my usefulness to the company and it's time to move on. I leave with happy memories, that's what's important.
I'm finally over my depression over leaving Porno Land. I have come to live with the fact that yes, it was fun while it lasted, yes, I'll miss the Golden Days and yes, I'll miss the damn pool but sometimes we tend to cling to what little is left of the happier days, hoping that things will be better in the coming days and realize that no, it won't. At this point I feel that I'm way past my usefulness to the company and it's time to move on. I leave with happy memories, that's what's important.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
The Sound Of Love
Now here's one category my old blog never had, something about Love and all of its fabulousness. Usually I fight the urge to write anything about love because I don't enjoy writing things in which I have no fucking clue. However, I figured this might be the right place and the right time to do it. So here it goes...
Friday, April 18, 2008
A Chapter Closes
As another chapter of my life is slowly coming to a close, I reflected on all the good things that came to pass. As I looked back, I realized most of those experiences has been good and that I'm lucky. Friends and laughter, what more can a girl ask for?
... two weeks and counting. Already I miss everyone.
... two weeks and counting. Already I miss everyone.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
A Hasty Exit
I'm sitting here in an obscure net shop wearing the rattiest set of garb known to man. Since I'm too sick to report to work today, I was stuck at home broiling in our heated room which bored me shitless so I dragged my ass out here, bought some drugs and felt a little contemplative. I'm high on paracetamol, by the way.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Catching Up
I had a surprising weekend. Surprising because I thought I had the whole day all planned out. My sole gameplan was to just drag my ass to the salon to get a trim, surf the net then sleep the day away. Next thing you know, I got my old college galpal, Dewey, asking me if I want to join her for some Go-karting action. Of course, being the lazy fuck that I am, I said Hell fucken no.
At the same time, tattooed-guy, who's got more issues than the Rolling Stones magazine and the Rolling Stones band put together, texted me and asked me if I'm free for coffee. As much as I want to "chat" with him over coffee and play the 27/7 on-call amateur shrink (not!), I politely declined. These days, I'd rather be skinned alive, then dousing myself with gasoline, set myself on fire while jumping off to a cliff and be greeted by the sea of Calamansi juice below, that see him. I'm so over the dramz.
The ex-best friend also texted me and asked me if I'm in the mood to hang-out with her. I chose not to respond. Seems like everyone wants to "catch up" these days.
Instead, I suggested to Dewey that we do something a little less strenuous, catch up over lunch and coffee, perhaps? Good-natured girl that she is, she said yes.
Two hours later, we're reminiscing about our dreary college lives and the events that came in-between. Back in the day, Dewey was one of the prettiest girls on the campus while I, on the other hand, was known as the anti-social bitch from Geekville. Naturally, she was surprised to find out I wasn't the insecure spectacled-fatass she used to know and got greeted by an embittered bony-assed twit instead. She seemed genuinely happy for me though.
It's funny now that as we caught up with each other's shit, I realized we have so much in common. More than I'd like to admit. See, for some weird reason, I disliked hanging-out with her even in college. And fast-forward 4 years later, I'm still a little hesitant to do so. Don't get me wrong, she is really, really nice, to a fault. I just can't stand her Pollyanna ways, even by my standards, it's suffocating. It's like I have to verbalize everything to her and explain the most inane things. Mind you, I don't mean that I can't stand her, in fact, I like her and I did have a nice time hanging-out with her. All I'm saying is she's great, in small doses.
Also, I do have a dim memory of her back in college when she invited me for an overnight stay at her dorm. I thought what she meant was we're gonna have a fun slumber party. Instead she made me join her do her project for the next day and was left making hideous cut-outs of shit at two in the fucking morning. I found it rude but hey, it's her casa. Needless to say, I got a little wary of her and I politely declined the "slumber party" offers that came afterwards.
By the end of the night, I accompanied her on a tattoo shop to get herself henna-ed. While the Henna Guy was quietly working on her design and I sat down in the cramped room, idly browsing through a magazine, she blurted out that I have, in fact, just got inked, to the Henna Guy. Upon learning this, the Henna Guy, understandably, wants to see my tat. Next thing you know, I got a total stranger pawing at my tiger... wait, that came out wrong. Umm... against my will but confined to my strategically-masked politeness, I showed my bare back to this guy. Deep inside I wanna strangle Dewey.
He was impressed, of course, because not many girls would choose a rather masculine design such as the one I got.
After our little meeting, she kept making plans. Plans that require 7 hour-long drive away from the city. Plans that would require vacation leaves and good money. Plans that includes target-shooting, go-karts and trekking. I tried explaining that as much as I want to be spontaneous, I couldn't just go and do things on the fly. I didn't bother telling her that I'm not interested shooting things and breaking things or that talking to her for more than half a day might put me in a coma. God, I'm so mean.
She was a little disappointed but still hopeful. Man, I don't remember her to be the adventrous type but then again, it's been 2 years the last time I saw her.
At the same time, tattooed-guy, who's got more issues than the Rolling Stones magazine and the Rolling Stones band put together, texted me and asked me if I'm free for coffee. As much as I want to "chat" with him over coffee and play the 27/7 on-call amateur shrink (not!), I politely declined. These days, I'd rather be skinned alive, then dousing myself with gasoline, set myself on fire while jumping off to a cliff and be greeted by the sea of Calamansi juice below, that see him. I'm so over the dramz.
The ex-best friend also texted me and asked me if I'm in the mood to hang-out with her. I chose not to respond. Seems like everyone wants to "catch up" these days.
Instead, I suggested to Dewey that we do something a little less strenuous, catch up over lunch and coffee, perhaps? Good-natured girl that she is, she said yes.
Two hours later, we're reminiscing about our dreary college lives and the events that came in-between. Back in the day, Dewey was one of the prettiest girls on the campus while I, on the other hand, was known as the anti-social bitch from Geekville. Naturally, she was surprised to find out I wasn't the insecure spectacled-fatass she used to know and got greeted by an embittered bony-assed twit instead. She seemed genuinely happy for me though.
It's funny now that as we caught up with each other's shit, I realized we have so much in common. More than I'd like to admit. See, for some weird reason, I disliked hanging-out with her even in college. And fast-forward 4 years later, I'm still a little hesitant to do so. Don't get me wrong, she is really, really nice, to a fault. I just can't stand her Pollyanna ways, even by my standards, it's suffocating. It's like I have to verbalize everything to her and explain the most inane things. Mind you, I don't mean that I can't stand her, in fact, I like her and I did have a nice time hanging-out with her. All I'm saying is she's great, in small doses.
Also, I do have a dim memory of her back in college when she invited me for an overnight stay at her dorm. I thought what she meant was we're gonna have a fun slumber party. Instead she made me join her do her project for the next day and was left making hideous cut-outs of shit at two in the fucking morning. I found it rude but hey, it's her casa. Needless to say, I got a little wary of her and I politely declined the "slumber party" offers that came afterwards.
By the end of the night, I accompanied her on a tattoo shop to get herself henna-ed. While the Henna Guy was quietly working on her design and I sat down in the cramped room, idly browsing through a magazine, she blurted out that I have, in fact, just got inked, to the Henna Guy. Upon learning this, the Henna Guy, understandably, wants to see my tat. Next thing you know, I got a total stranger pawing at my tiger... wait, that came out wrong. Umm... against my will but confined to my strategically-masked politeness, I showed my bare back to this guy. Deep inside I wanna strangle Dewey.
He was impressed, of course, because not many girls would choose a rather masculine design such as the one I got.
After our little meeting, she kept making plans. Plans that require 7 hour-long drive away from the city. Plans that would require vacation leaves and good money. Plans that includes target-shooting, go-karts and trekking. I tried explaining that as much as I want to be spontaneous, I couldn't just go and do things on the fly. I didn't bother telling her that I'm not interested shooting things and breaking things or that talking to her for more than half a day might put me in a coma. God, I'm so mean.
She was a little disappointed but still hopeful. Man, I don't remember her to be the adventrous type but then again, it's been 2 years the last time I saw her.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Rude Awakening
Not everything should have any reason, they just happen either we allowed it to happen or in my case, we just wanted to throw all caution to the wind in hopes to live a little.
This is the subject of my reflection, soul-searching, if you will, last Good Friday. The timing was perfect too, as I caught a long break from the daily grind. I guess in some ways, there were a lot of stark
I've come to realize I'm so much different now than I was a few months ago and I'm trying to make sense at this. Suddenly my temper got more volatile than usual, lashing out at my friends, isloating myself from people I know and love, cutting people off from my circle and suddely found myself doing crazy stunts just for the heck of it (of which the first paragraph's theme was borne)
Could it be that I'm having a severe case of what my friends calls a "Quarter life Crisis?" Hmmm... probably but highly unlikely. The most reasonable conclusion I could come up with is that, during the times I took a step back to mull over my issues, I found some of the source of my irritation.
1) I'm surrounded by people I don't even like!
I found myself associating with people who never contributed shit on my life. People who had no qualms to take advantage of our so-called "friendship". I wondered how the hell did I even allow these toxic people in my life to begin with, I got no clue.
So the first solution to my problem is to cut off this people from my list of friends, or at the very least, limit my interactions with them. It's a very hard thing to do since the first person I'm gonna cut off is none other than my best friend of seven years. Recent events I'd rather not divulge made me realize that she wasn't as good as a friend as I thought she was. It's sad, really.
2) The desicion to move out from my lovable BlogSpot account (The Mundane Side of The Road)
Another hard decision for me to make was to stop posting at my BlogSpot account. I tremendously enjoyed posting my shit in there and leaving it tears me apart. I was never the one to give a serious thought on buying my own domain because, I could always get it for free, until now (my friends always suggested I make The BlindRage a dot com site but I always find plenty of reasons to go against that)
What hastened my decision was the fact that I couldn't write things that matters to me the most anymore. However, I'll be the first to admit that the fault is mine. I molded Mundane Side of The Road as the humor blog that it is now and I guess when I'm this depressed, I want to vent -out my frustrations but I can't do it because of the fact that most of my readers are the gossipy lot. I'll be damned if I reveal too much of myself to this kind of crowd that's why I felt Mundane Side has run its due course.
I admit that I still care what other people think of me. A fact we all share but most of you are too afraid to admit. Maybe it's out of vanity or maybe because of my own constant quest for self-improvement but yes, I do care no matter how often I say I don't. I'm a walking contradiction but at least I have the balls to say it.
So yes, I've closed down my old joint in hopes to open a much better, hellalot coherent and hopefully a more honest spot right here.
3) I hunger for change yet is deathly afraid of it.
I've always remarked how 2008 kept kicking my ass and there are a lot of things that changed. Admittedly, I hate changes and I somehow convinced myself that my life would be a better place to live in without all these new going-ons but at the same time, I'm kinda learning to roll in with the punches. However, lemme just state that growing old is a bitch. It is and we all know it.
4) Err... the lump in my lady lump.
The prevalent thing that concerns me the most is the tiny lump on my left boob. I've been telling people that it's probably nothing but I have never been this scared in my life before simply because The Big C is always a possibility. I took the liberty of having it checked and the doctor told me I have nothing to worry about, I'm relieved, course but I'm still determined to make a few lifestyle changes, you know, just in case.
This is the subject of my reflection, soul-searching, if you will, last Good Friday. The timing was perfect too, as I caught a long break from the daily grind. I guess in some ways, there were a lot of stark
I've come to realize I'm so much different now than I was a few months ago and I'm trying to make sense at this. Suddenly my temper got more volatile than usual, lashing out at my friends, isloating myself from people I know and love, cutting people off from my circle and suddely found myself doing crazy stunts just for the heck of it (of which the first paragraph's theme was borne)
Could it be that I'm having a severe case of what my friends calls a "Quarter life Crisis?" Hmmm... probably but highly unlikely. The most reasonable conclusion I could come up with is that, during the times I took a step back to mull over my issues, I found some of the source of my irritation.
1) I'm surrounded by people I don't even like!
I found myself associating with people who never contributed shit on my life. People who had no qualms to take advantage of our so-called "friendship". I wondered how the hell did I even allow these toxic people in my life to begin with, I got no clue.
So the first solution to my problem is to cut off this people from my list of friends, or at the very least, limit my interactions with them. It's a very hard thing to do since the first person I'm gonna cut off is none other than my best friend of seven years. Recent events I'd rather not divulge made me realize that she wasn't as good as a friend as I thought she was. It's sad, really.
2) The desicion to move out from my lovable BlogSpot account (The Mundane Side of The Road)
Another hard decision for me to make was to stop posting at my BlogSpot account. I tremendously enjoyed posting my shit in there and leaving it tears me apart. I was never the one to give a serious thought on buying my own domain because, I could always get it for free, until now (my friends always suggested I make The BlindRage a dot com site but I always find plenty of reasons to go against that)
What hastened my decision was the fact that I couldn't write things that matters to me the most anymore. However, I'll be the first to admit that the fault is mine. I molded Mundane Side of The Road as the humor blog that it is now and I guess when I'm this depressed, I want to vent -out my frustrations but I can't do it because of the fact that most of my readers are the gossipy lot. I'll be damned if I reveal too much of myself to this kind of crowd that's why I felt Mundane Side has run its due course.
I admit that I still care what other people think of me. A fact we all share but most of you are too afraid to admit. Maybe it's out of vanity or maybe because of my own constant quest for self-improvement but yes, I do care no matter how often I say I don't. I'm a walking contradiction but at least I have the balls to say it.
So yes, I've closed down my old joint in hopes to open a much better, hellalot coherent and hopefully a more honest spot right here.
3) I hunger for change yet is deathly afraid of it.
I've always remarked how 2008 kept kicking my ass and there are a lot of things that changed. Admittedly, I hate changes and I somehow convinced myself that my life would be a better place to live in without all these new going-ons but at the same time, I'm kinda learning to roll in with the punches. However, lemme just state that growing old is a bitch. It is and we all know it.
4) Err... the lump in my lady lump.
The prevalent thing that concerns me the most is the tiny lump on my left boob. I've been telling people that it's probably nothing but I have never been this scared in my life before simply because The Big C is always a possibility. I took the liberty of having it checked and the doctor told me I have nothing to worry about, I'm relieved, course but I'm still determined to make a few lifestyle changes, you know, just in case.
Leaving a Mark
A day before April Fool's Day, I headed to the UP area, accompanied by friends, to get a tattoo. A few days before that, I have friends and family alike, talking me out of it and I must admit that I came close on wussing out... again, which made me glad I was able to summon up the courage to take the inky plunge.
When everything was over and done with, I have friends asking me what's the motivation behind doing what I did or what's the meaning behind the tattoo design I chose to which I would impishly albeit, truthfully quip a simple "Nothing."
Why must there always be a reason behind everything we do? Is it really strange to do things because it makes us happy, no matter what the consequences may be? This is one reason I have yet to learn but I'm getting there, believe me.
For the record, the design has little relevance to the real reason why I got a tattoo. Rather, theimportant thing for me was, the act of getting one. In case you missed it, I did a lot of thinking during the Holy Week and realized that, life, is indeed too short to worry about trivialities.
I needed changes in my life and I needed to remember the day of the rude awakening. A little reminder to live a little.
And so, as they say, the rest is history.
Stone sober, mind you. Personally, the process of getting a tattoo is a very, very painful ordeal and probably not for the faint of heart. Most especially if you chose to not drink a drop of alcohol to dull the pain. It was so bad I was actually trembling... and sweaty. But I did it and I'm glad that now, I have something that sets me apart from the rest of my fellow human beings.
When everything was over and done with, I have friends asking me what's the motivation behind doing what I did or what's the meaning behind the tattoo design I chose to which I would impishly albeit, truthfully quip a simple "Nothing."
Why must there always be a reason behind everything we do? Is it really strange to do things because it makes us happy, no matter what the consequences may be? This is one reason I have yet to learn but I'm getting there, believe me.
For the record, the design has little relevance to the real reason why I got a tattoo. Rather, theimportant thing for me was, the act of getting one. In case you missed it, I did a lot of thinking during the Holy Week and realized that, life, is indeed too short to worry about trivialities.
I needed changes in my life and I needed to remember the day of the rude awakening. A little reminder to live a little.
And so, as they say, the rest is history.
Just Wondering
You know how it is when you think you found yourself the close-to-perfect partner then out of the blue, you meet that one special person who's mere presence takes your breath away?
That by the end of the day, you know you'd find yourself wishing things could've been a little different?
Lamenting that you should've waited a while longer had you known she'd come along. That you don't have to settle for anything less. Find that this is what you've been waiting for, to be with this extraordinary person. You wonder why it took her this long to come along.
You are paying the sins of your youth. She's too good for you and you know it. She wouldn't even look at you and not feel the monsters in your mind. Your demons that you tried to fight.
Wouldn't it be just your luck if she could just take you in her arms, never let go and love you for all you are?
In the end you'll realized that no matter what you do, you know you don't deserve her and she'll never have you.
That's when you slapped yourself awake and thought "Somethings, no matter how perfectly they fit, are just not meant to be"
That by the end of the day, you know you'd find yourself wishing things could've been a little different?
Lamenting that you should've waited a while longer had you known she'd come along. That you don't have to settle for anything less. Find that this is what you've been waiting for, to be with this extraordinary person. You wonder why it took her this long to come along.
You are paying the sins of your youth. She's too good for you and you know it. She wouldn't even look at you and not feel the monsters in your mind. Your demons that you tried to fight.
Wouldn't it be just your luck if she could just take you in her arms, never let go and love you for all you are?
In the end you'll realized that no matter what you do, you know you don't deserve her and she'll never have you.
That's when you slapped yourself awake and thought "Somethings, no matter how perfectly they fit, are just not meant to be"
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Crossing The Great Divide
I should've posted this last week but I wasn't able to, sue me :D Anyhoots, after much deliberation, (around two to three minutes, to be exact) I've decided that it's high time for this blogsite to finally cross The Great Divide. From humble beginning comes a humble ending, 8 Months and 134 posts later. Kids, this is my farewell post!
Props to all the guys, gals and gays who kept this joint interesting and who were awesome enough to have kept visiting little ol' me on a regular basis, I thoroughly enjoyed my virtual interactions with you crazy lot! Now, go hound someone else and make me proud!
In Tagalog: Mga hombre, gerlaloo at vaklaaaah, isasara na ang tindahan! Go make gora na mga lolo't lola, sayang ang miles!
I have found my calling and would like to concentrate on things that matters to me the most like picking my nose and perfecting my Nguso Pose :D Gosh, I'll miss you all!
Thank you and good-bye, bitches!
Props to all the guys, gals and gays who kept this joint interesting and who were awesome enough to have kept visiting little ol' me on a regular basis, I thoroughly enjoyed my virtual interactions with you crazy lot! Now, go hound someone else and make me proud!
In Tagalog: Mga hombre, gerlaloo at vaklaaaah, isasara na ang tindahan! Go make gora na mga lolo't lola, sayang ang miles!
I have found my calling and would like to concentrate on things that matters to me the most like picking my nose and perfecting my Nguso Pose :D Gosh, I'll miss you all!
Thank you and good-bye, bitches!
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