The Reluctant Porn Writer

I have been turning down one offer to do porn reviews after another ever since I worked here (Not telling exactly where "here" is). Y'know, I have nothing against Porn. Don't get me wrong, occasionally I do watch smut (WebDate days) but now I only watch porn when my job requires it (which is not often) Ayuh, I've seen my fair share of smut but that's about it. Frankly, I'm neither repulsed nor turned-on by smut if that's what you're getting at, you dirty boy. I usually turn those offers down not because I'm a tight-assed prude but because it takes a lot of skills to make a decent porn rev. Skills that unfortunately, I gotz none.

Believe it or not, I've always known that I somewhat suck at writing. .

See, I was a porn review writer once, got fired because I pretty much sucked at it, went home to re-evaluate my career choices, licked my wounds *sniff, sniff* then got hired again by another account. The funny part was that it was the first writing gig I ever had and I got burned real bad, paare. Now, most people would say, "So you got burned once, big deal. Give it another go!" Unlike some people I know, who relentlessly brags about being a bona-fhayd "porn writer" and would love to talk about it every chance he/she gets, that's not how I roll.

And let's not forget the bottom line: Porn and I, we don't mesh well.

Anyway, a good friend came knocking on my door and asked me if I want to give porn another try. My initial reaction was to immediately say "No" but he and I go way back and I'm somewhat reluctant to really say no to him cuz he's such a teddy bear (... and persistent and stubborn and has a way of making Porn sound like Utopia, a land of plenty where even very air we breathe smells like monies. Lots and lots of monies.... I love monies... MMmmmMm....) That, plus, he and I are currently working on a project that involves me, my frustrations over work and comics. I'll post the fruit of our labor as soon as he's done with it, yo! Well come to think of it, I do need to find other means to fund my vices...

Damn. What's a girl to do?