Food, Friends, Crocs and Burning Bridges

It was Peter's 27th birthday and most of my bitches were present. The food was great, we stuffed ourselves with pizza, pasta, beer and more pizza!

Thing is, our Putipot trip is only a couple of days away and I wasn't able to starve myself prepare for it! I've been munching on crap and cream cheese for two days! My ghaaaaadddd!!!! That's okay though, its not like I bought any bathing suit or shit like that anyways. I've been too broke recently and I have no one to blame but myself. I knew I'd have a little trouble with monies if I wasn't too careful with my earnings and as expected, I spent most of my monies on books and this:

You'd think I'd make some effort to save up but I just couldn't help myself. I've been meaning to buy myself something for my birthday and because of lack of imagination, I ended up buying these ridiculously expensive sandals. Now I'm paying the price for my indulgence.

On a totally different subject, I got into thinking last night. The Lying Bastard had the gall to check up on me after he disappeared two months ago. My first reaction when I read his message was "Punyeta. Ulol!" I read somewhere Punyeta means Asshole, fits him perfectly. Personally, after all the things he made me go through he was not in any position to contact me at all.  I guess I expected that he'd have the decency to just go away but I gave him too much credit, even now.

I was also thinking about the Ex-Bestfriend. For some weird reason, I wanted to clear the air with her last night. I wanted to explain why I'm angry at her although she knew the reason why. At times I feel that I'm being too unreasonable with her but other times I just think I've had it. I distinctively remember an old debate I had with the Ex-Bestfriend. She told me that I shouldn't set any expectations with people I love, including friends while I, on the other hand, firmly believe that when it comes to friendship, I demand loyalty. I told her I don't want to invest so much time and effort nurturing a relationship with anyone and not expect the same courtesy. How can I move heaven and earth for my friends if I'm not even sure they're worth it? Unconditional love my ass, I only have room for unconditional love with my future kids and that's it. Is that so wrong? Anyways, I'm still sticking stubbornly to my own convictions.

I found a nice little passage on a book I'm currently reading and it described exactly the way I feel about friendship. Haruki's main protagonist in the book Toru Watanabe said something like "Often, friendships leads to disappointments" or something of that sorts. Truest phrase I've ever read.

A friend told me once that I have the worst taste in men and as it turns out, I also have the worst taste in friends that's why aside from office friends, I avoid seeing my old high school and college buds, including the ol' Paniqui buds that recently wanted to hang-out with me. It may seem unfair that I'm isolating myself from people I know and love but I guess at this point, I'm not entirely sure if they're worth investing much of my time and dedication with them. That statement may sound too condescending but I know things that you don't so its better to shut the fuck up, no?

At this point in my life I want to do some Spring cleaning. I want to concentrate my energy on what matters the most, mainly my family, my work and my money... oh, and God. I want to move forward and stay away from people who drains the life out of me, that's what I want.