Plugging

So a friend of mine decided to fix our old site CannedThoughts.com. With the help of Ratzingerjoe, they were able to resurrect the site and made it even better.

I made a couple of articles in there to start things off. Hopefully I could get old contributors back to do some charity work in the name of love. So there, I know for a fact that there are some people who are, amazingly, still reading my blog. Do me a favor and visit CannedThoughts.com too, mmmkay?

Dance Number

Just to give you an idea what we do when we bum around the beach:



That's right, spontaneous dance number.

The Search Is Over

I know I've been ragging on and on about buying a digital camera and yet I haven't bought any. Well, I did go to HK so it goes without saying that I've been poor. Anyway, so I made a not-so massive ipon and this is it, I think I will be able to buy a camera! Of course, the Lumix ZS7 is not really the camera of my dreams but it's close. Well, not close enough that they are almost kissing (obviously they are world's apart)  but since the GF1 is too expensive, I settled for the SZ7.

The reviews looked good. I must admit reading the stellar reviews on its predecessor, ZS3 casted some doubts but the latter is only 10 megapixel and that's a deal breaker. I pretty much have a straightforward list of what I want in a camera. It should have wide angle lens, must be easy to use and resolution of at least 12 megapixel. Initially, I wanted the Canon SX200 but after my still-new Canon camera broke down for no reason and was deemed unfixable, I swore I'd never buy a Canon again no matter how many tempting digicam colors/designs they come up with.

So there.

Hopefully this model is available at Megamall otherwise I might be coaxed to buy other models. Keeping my fingers crossed.

All Apologies

A couple of years ago, I had a fight with a good friend over something that is a mystery to me even now.I believe I didn't write anything about the guy in this site. So here's the dope:

He got mad over something. I apologized to him even though I was unsure what it is that made him mad. He not only rejected my apology, he also started another fight. I decided to not contact him ever. I felt bad because he was such a good friend but I didn't bother clearing the air because I was confused on the thing that bought on the fight to begin with and I was offended that my apology was not accepted.

Of course, some people who think they know the real story behind it kept insisting that I did something terrible to this person. It's infuriating at times, you know? To be honest, I resented those people simply because they think once they heard one side of the story then that explains everything. The worse part is that they keep bringing it up. Maybe they think it's funny or they want make me feel shitty about it, I don't know. I just hate it. It's not a matter of my feeling being hurt over certain accusations but it seems to me that I was made to look like I didn't do anything to pacify the situation. Well I felt guilty nonetheless. I thought, hey, if they think you did something terrible then maybe it's true, you just don't know it because it's not like you are the most sensitive person around, you know?

To be fair, my behavior in the past did nothing to make them think otherwise. I guess I'm just fed up with people who automatically points their finger at the usual suspect because well, it's convenient. It's so lacking in imagination.

So last week, I had a set up meeting with Kapre and our discussion turned to this very subject. Actually, the guy earned my respect that very night because he was much more deep than he lets on. Well, I had suspicions that he is deep but I never really had an honest talk with the guy ever.

He asked me what happened and I jogged my memory about it. I knew there were more to it than just the stupid camera but I just can't quite put my finger on it. Normally, the guy was pretty easy-going and I was flabbergasted to find out that he didn't accept my apology considering we've been friends for a while and instead provoked another fight which just made things worse.

I won't go into details but he saw the situation in an entirely different light. His theory turned out to be be very accurate. He said I should've taken the higher road and during those times I thought I did. But apparently, the road I took was not high enough. So for the second time, I apologized about the thing. Well, this scenario was the same exact thing that it was two years ago, the only difference is, nobody's mad anymore. I was actually very curious to find out what really made the guy act the way he did but the guy said he cannot remember the real reason why he acted the way he did. Tch.

But Kapre has his theory and based on the email I received, I think Kapre is right on the money.

Case closed.

Weekend Conversations

Last weekend, I have been spending my time with cousins from both sides of the family. Because I crashed in on my cousin's house for the weekend in Tarlac, I witnessed how they normally spend their time, which is mostly eating out. So there, they pig out on various take-outs all weekend long and I am ashamed to admit that I partook in this habit of theirs.

Of course, being home in the province meant my mom started convincing me to reconcile with my father. I won't go into details but let's just say I nipped that idea right at the bud.

When I got back here in the city, I was invited by cousins from my father's side for a rare get-together. My younger cousin, JM,  just got back here in the PH for a short vacation and he wanted to catch up with everyone. Talking to him, I am so proud that he turn out to be a much better person than I expected. He has the level of maturity even I can only dream of. I guess, that maturity is borne out of a difficult childhood that most cousins from the father's side of the family are all too familiar with (the infamous Lee syndrome). If there is one thing we all had in common, it is that we all had to put up with our overbearing fathers. Surprisingly, even the most goofy cousin I had shared the same experience. Needless to say, the conversation always turns to serious stuff though we try to laugh everything off.

JM wanted to do something in order to patch things up between my father and I (which is sweet of him). While I did say I was open to a reconciliation, it would be a cold day in hell before I would make the first move. I'm not saying I'm absolutely faultless in our rift but I sure as hell did not do anything wrong initially. He said he might drop by my parents' house and talk my father into reconciling but I very much doubt my father would admit that most of it was his fault. It's quite admirable to see someone this young  be this mature. My sister and I were quite impressed. He looks so much like his dad but he surely takes after his mom.

It was nice talking to them and being openly honest about what happened. There is only a handful of people who I talk to about the issue and most of them could not really relate. It's quite refreshing to know that I was in the company of those that can, you know?

One positive thing that resulted from our collective tough childhood is that we turned out to be more well-rounded than others. We may have been scarred for life but I'm positive that the experience made each one of us a better person.

Oh, believe me, I could've turned out much worse than this :D

Homebound

It seems I'll be home -bound this Friday. My mom is practically begging me to come home, so there. I'm not really looking forward to it, to be honest. I do not like the idea of hanging in there and talk about stuff, you know? Conversations with my mom has been awkward lately. Mostly because I resent her. It has something to do with stuff in the past. I feel bad for her but I resent her at the same time. Conflicting, yes.

My mom and my sister have been teaming up, ragging me on about coming home. While I have no problem being there, I would rather be skinned alive, drenched in gasoline and chili oil and then set on fire rather than set foot in our house. Everyone in my family knew about this and my newlywed cousin was kind enough to offer their house and her room for me to spend the weekend. So there. I relented (with certain conditions) She was excited about the sleep together and though I'm looking forward on lengthy girl talk, I still do not like going back home. I hate hiding. It's like, I'm the one at fault. But I guess it is better for everyone this way.

Well, I miss Waki so sacrifices must be made. I think I can grin and bear it for one day and a half.

Weird

I noticed that an acquaintance of mine has this for his profile pic in Facebook. Yes, indeed, it included me in it, back in my skinny days, no less. I find it amusing and weird at the same breath. It is not everyday that I discover my face is plastered all over somebody else's profile, ya know?

Eated

I spent a good two days barfing and shitting because I inadvertently eaten something that either went bad or didn't agree with my stomach.  So there. Now speaking of eating...

I opened a new food blog site aptly named "Eated" because that's basically what the site will be all about, everything I have eaten, immortalized in Cyberspace. I do not plan to critique the food in a blow-by-blow account at all because I know squat about writing food articles. However, being fat for more than half my life, I can say I know good food and that's just want I plan to do. Tell if the food sucked or not without having to put too much emphasis on the details why.

Of course, I created the site in anticipation for the new camera I will be getting sometime soon. Unfortunately, I was not able to buy a new one soon enough because of my weekly shopping sprees. So now, I'm really hell-bent on getting a new cam before April ends and I will have to make massive ipon for it. It just frustrates me though because my sister and I have been eating on really, really nice places these days and I have no camera to show off the food.

Hay.

I'm pretty excited on this new playground because I liked how the pictures are presented. I have been lusting after the same template. I wanted to use it for this site but I have to pay shitload of money for it.  Eeek.  Since I'm a stingy hag, I am resigned to deal with this dreary design. Tumblr is kinda great, it has more options and it is more visually-appealing. The only drawback is the set up, unlike Wordpress, Tumblr seems to be geared towards the social networking addicted people. That's kinda unsettling.

Oh well. Nobody's perfect.

Milestone

Cousin dear's wedding (Groom is missing, apaarently)

Werk It

My friend and I are discussing our next job hunting adventure. Now, for someone who just got hired last week, this is quite... challenging. Although I do have plans to re-enter the world of the living, I do not plan to do this any time soon but I didn't have the heart to tell her that. So instead, I halfheartedly said yes to everything. Scout for companies, yes. Update your resume, yes. Pick a kawaii outfit, yes. Let's do this next week, yes.

The thing is, I sort of like my new set up now. I do not have to wake up as early as my last client required and I can work on my own pace without some dumbass feeding me bs.  That said, I have to 'fess up, I haven't really been enjoying myself after I gave the home based set up a shot. Sure, it pays the bills and yes, it pays a lot. But I have to admit I have grown weary of the whole home based set up. When 2010 started, I resolved that I will go out there and live my life. I have been living worse than a hermit and the routine that I developed, though safe and unfailing, have made it very hard for me to cope with everything else that has been going with my life. I suppose I want a distraction and I can't have that if I continue to live the way I'm living now.

I'm so unsure what to do at this point. The last time I worked on an offline company, it was a complete disaster. Granted, I was going through an emotional phase at those times and the night shift did nothing to help my cause. Of course, I'm afraid of facing new challenges. Some people, they liked to be challenged. they go head on and they do not look back. I, on the other hand, approach challenges much like a toddler would approach a dead jellyfish by the shoreline, I poke at it with a stick, sniff it, make sure it was dead,  kick sand in its face then run like a girl.

I have to admit I'm interested on the notion of working offline again. All my new outfits are gathering dusts, it is driving em nuts. That's basically the only reason I can think of, hehehehe.

At this point I'm still weighing my options. I could continue working for this guy and hold a full-time job offline or I could drop the job altogether and explore the unknown.Hay, decisions, decisions.

Waki

Cutest boy. EVER.

Good Byers Aussie Boss

So I just sent my resignation letter and moved on to another client.The whole Xoom, ODesk and incompetent PM situation were just making things very difficult for me. Of course, my exit was not without surprises. Turns out PM dear wasn't a girl at all. He was nice enough to let me know about it during my pseudo-exit interview. He also asked if we could see each other. Yuck!

As if!

Moving on, I got into a bit of a spat with another person in my new team. In my defense, he was being a jerk. So there. I don't know what to expect but if this does not work out, my short-term plan may kickstart earlier than planned.

Easter

The good news is that Jesus conquered death. Bad news is, I'm nursing a hang over.

The Angels had a get-together last night. We watched How To Train Your Dragon (which was a spectacular film, by the way), drank beers and traded jokes until the wee hours of Easter morning. It was one of those rare moments where I actually had fun. These days, I do not have too many opportunities at fun and I embraced the comforting lull of food, friends and alcohol completely. I wish we could do that more often.

Incidentally, I created a short-term plan, one that I hope would rescue me from this dud of a life I lead. I plan to leave all my home-based work behind in three months and resolve to work in a real office again. Kapre summed it up precisely when he said home-based work is driving him insane. Sometimes I love being insane but there are forms of insanity that are just too boring for words and this is the insanity that I've been dealing for months. Of course, I do not regret working in a home-based setting, I just regret not having fun while at it.

So there. Hopefully, I can stop being greedy and start living a little.

In other news, the new neighbor is starting to try my patience. Well, it wasn't really much of a big deal but sometimes I wonder why some people are so crass. The neighbor asked me nonchalantly if he could use my credit card to get himself a new computer. To a person who owed me nearly 10 grand and leeching off my cable line, I think that was just asking too much, don't you agree?

Adobong Pata

What's in it:

Half a kilo pig leg

Minced garlic

Minced onions

Paprika

6 tablespoon soy sauce

5 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

1 cup water

2 bay leaves

Crushed pepper

Salt

Sugar

How To Cook:

1) Put on great music to set the mood. I listened  to Jeff Buckley's "I Know It's Over" to make an already depressing day even more depressing.

2) Put all ingredients in a pot. Adjust the taste and stuff. Simmer for an hour

3) Drain and set aside the liquid.

4) Fry the pig leg until they are browned on all sides

5) Add the sauce to the fryer and simmer for another ten minutes

6) Stare longingly because surprise! It's good Friday and you are not supposed to eat pork, yo!

Taste Test:

This recipe is actually my second attempt at it. The first time, I added like, 3/4 cup of cider vinegar because that's what the recipe dictates. I realized too late that the amount of pork in it versus the amount of pork in the recipe don't match. Me and the rest of my house ended up smelling like vinegar. I took a sip of the sauce and well, it turned out better than I expected. It's on the sweet side, which I hate. I know I should balance this out with vinegar but I don't want to put too much, it might ruin everything.

I might not cook anything anytime soon but for my first adobo, this is a great turn out.It looked and somewhat tasted like what adobos should.

How'd I do:

On a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 being the highest I’d say 2.5. Because I cheated. Did this without the onions because I was too lazy to buy it some.

Good Friday Rambling

For the first time I'm spending the holy week all by my lonesome self. I'm trying not to get the depression get to me. I have always hated holy week for as long as I can remember. Well, I do not hate the concept of it, I just hate the silence that comes with it and now that I'm on it alone, it makes the silence even more pronounced.

Oh, well. That's life.

To distract myself, I cooked adobo for the first time. I am the first to admit that I know squat when it comes to cooking and supposedly, adobo should be the first recipe I must master.I scoured for a good adobo recipe online. Will make a post about that later.

I received a call last night, it was Fly Boi. Actually,I have been ignoring his calls after we went out partly because many people I know warned me against seeing him again. I know I shouldn't let other people dictate what I should and should not do, I chose to not see him because I know that these people do have a point. There are so many red flags, it's impossible not to miss them. I can't be with someone who obviously do not care that much. Of course, it's not like I kept my hopes up after we met up, you know? Well, okay. I did. A bit.I thought maybe this time around, things would change but then again I always knew it won't. He will always remain the same person that he was six years ago.  He still continues to live in his past glory. I still continued to be the person I am, jaded and unmoving.

So there, he called and told me he is about to leave. He was already boarding the plane as we talked. It was a brief, cordial call. He told me that we never saw each other after the last time and I can't come up with excuses so I just uttered a lame "yeeaaaah". We told each other to take care and said our good-byes.

I sort of felt a bit sad that he left so soon. We may never see each other again. Or if we do see each other again, he may already be married. God, hopefully when that time comes, I already have a boyfriend otherwise I would die of mortification. Sometimes I catch myself wishing things would turn out much better than it did. But he was stupid and that's that.