Reliving Stoooopid Moments

For the sake of giving you guys a break from my I'm-so-fucking-busy-somebody-shoot-me speech (I know most of you are tired of me and my bullshit), I'm gonna tell you guys a funny story. You know me, I love to share retarded stuff anyways.

Last week, I had a meeting with the German guy (who'll remain unnamed cuz of complicated circumstances, work-wise) together with two of my writer friends. We ate somewhere, he drank beer, Benny was late and Tin blew my mind with the nifty little paint job she did for Congo Grill. Turns out, she was the bitch behind the kickass mural on the walls of Congo Grill in El Pueblo. How cool is that?

Well the story happened after Tin left and we changed venue. Don't really remember the place but you can shoot pools and do manly things like... uh... shoot pools, drink beer, smoke and do drugs. Okay, I made the last part up, hahaha! So I sat opposite German guy who was busy discussing stuff related to work and schiz. Beside him, sat a disheveled-looking Benny nonchalantly drinking beer and there's me, innocently leaning on my chair. Big. Fucking. Mistake.

I can't explain it. Maybe I suddenly gained a hell lot of weight or maybe the stoooopid chair chose that precise moment to act stoooooopid because the back of my chair completely gave out on me! I shit you not, my friend.

Good thing I have quick reflex because I found time to hook my feet to the table brace which prevented me from being embarrassingly splattered on the floor.

But I don't know if having quick reflex is a good thing though. I would've chosen to fall flat on my ass just to get the whole fiasco over and done with, or at the very least, to give justice to all that screaming, you know?

Instead, I was stuck in a royally awkward position. Lemme paint the picture, kids. Me, screaming like a fucking banshee, with my ass in midair, arms flailing about, in front of German guy, Benny and the rest of the people in that bar for ten excruciating seconds.

I swear to God, all I kept thinking was, "Well, this is a very interesting situation, no? Can I die, like NOW?"

As you can see, I'm not really used to having my composure lost when I'm in a meeting, whether it happens in the office or in some obscure bar, much more when in front of strangers.

Weirdly enough, I don't remember German guy laughing. I'm assuming he was being polite about it. Benny and I however, started laughing like a couple of retards on sugar high.

I mean, wachagannadew? Sure I was embarrassed but it was still funny... but it's still embarrassing. Man, that was one of the the weirdest night I ever had. Seriously though, I felt like I was being punked.

And no, I haven't gotten over the whole thing. I'll remember that moment for as long as I live... OH THE SHAME! THE SHAME! I'M MEEEELLLTINNNNGGGG...!!!

That's all. Bow.