Kiefer Ocampo

Tina: Ampogi talaga ni Kiefer. God, how zexxXXxxy!!!
Benny: Kiefer Ocampo?
Benny: Nyeeeeeeeeeee... corny mo Tina, mamatay ka na!
Tina: Kiefer Sutherland, BOBO!
Tina: Tanga! Tonto!
Tina: Teka, sinong Kiefer Ocampo yun?

(5 seconds and 2 tumble weeds passing through later...)

Tina: Aaah gets... pota ang corny mo pa!
Benny: Tsk tsk... Your wit is getting a little bit dull.
Tina: Ngayon ko lang na-gets, natawa naman ako, hehehehe!
Benny: Putsa naman. Palinis mo na lens ng brain mo, ang tagal mag-load wehehehhe!
Tina: You cut me deep.

And for no reason at all, here's Benny Lava!

And I quote: Have you been high today?

The Boys and Their Broken Nuts

The Pain! The Pain! Oh God, It Buuuuuurrrrnnnsss!!!!!!

One of the things that makes me glad I was not born a man is that I'm spared of going through life with a pair of nut sacks hanging out between my legs, as a part of my anatomy. Now, I don't mean to offend but I heard how sensitive this particular part of the male species as it is, I can't be bothered with the kind of pain when it gets y'know... smashed. I heard it hurts like a bitch.

Honestly though, nothing reduces me to seemingly unending fits giggles like the sight of a man getting his balls randomly kicked, smacked or smashed. There's something royally humorous at the sight of a man, clutching his nuts while howling in agonizing pain that makes me collapse in oceans and oceans of laughter.

I've seen videos but I've yet to see one live and my reactions are always the same. Either I laugh like a psychopath or go "Oooohhhh.... that must've hurt! Look at the way he tearfully quivers while on bended-knee!" ... then laugh gleefully like a psychopath. Now again, dearies, I don't mean to offend, it's just that I can't quite imagine how that must've felt. Hey, I'm being honest here, I'm sorry!

I have a rather funny story to tell.

Turns out, a couple of my male friends had their family jewels bonked at some point in their lives, lets name them Schbenny and Schpetey.

Last night, I have them talking about exactly how painful is it when the male nether regions accidentally gets squashed. What is the exact degree of the Ouch Factor? Is the pain like the way when you stupidly hit your shin? Or when you accidentally bump your head against... I don't know, a table? Oh the questions! So many!

Schbenny said he bonked his nuts while playing touch ball. HE was supposed to catch this ball and well, his family jewels beat him to it. I asked if the pain was so bad he was driven to his knees, clutching his nuts and crying out in total, blinding pain. Kinda like this:

Holy Mother of Jesus, No more! No more!!!!

He said that he's not sure. He can't tell cuz he was too busy clutching his balls, fearing no woman would ever bear him a son while simultaneously catching glimpses of his yet-to-be-born sons' faces... well, that or he was too busy gnashing his teeth and writhing on the ground in y'know, blinding pain.

By then I couldn't really hear him cuz I was laughing like a hyena. Frankly, I was positive that my asthma was gonna kick in, I was laughing that hard. They gave me this weird look. Then they told me I'm a sadistic piece of shit.

Schpetey on the other hand, got his balls bruised when his Tae Kwon Do sparring partner accidentally kicked him... in the nuts. I know, right? He said he was sure to be driven down on his knees but his instructor had half the mind to assist him, making him take little jumps or something.

Anyways, from what little I gathered (I was too busy doubling-over with laughter) the pain is far worst that a simple bonk on the shin. And that the pain travels from the groin area then "creeps up" to the stomach area. And stays there (accusingly) for a while to remind you that all your baby batter wrigglers are dead as a door nail. Dead, dead, dead. You'll also momentarily lose the ability to speak. Plus, even breathing hurts. Now I feel bad about it. A little. And yet, I still find it funneh! What's wrong with me?!

Know what I did? I curled up on my side like a baby, wiggling my legs around, bit my right hand and did my best Abangan ang Susunod Na Kabanata: The Tengco Family Hand Sign, while whimpered something incoherent cuz I was simulating a man... with crushed nuts. Crushed Nuts and broken dreams.

I'm sooo going to hell for this, I just know it.

Pure Ranting: Those Swindling FX Driver

I hate commuting. I hate riding buses and FX (jeep) but I bear with it cuz if I don't then I'd be forced to walk and if there's one thing I absolutely hate doing, it's walking. But you know what I hate the most? When FX drivers try to cheat you off your 10 pesos every once in a while.

You know what I'm talking about, you ride an FX, you give Mr.Driver 20 pesos cuz you have no change and you know the exact fare from your office to your house is only ten pesos. Which means you can expect that this guy will give you 10 pesos as your change, right?

Problem is, Mr. Smooth-Criminal thinks you're a spineless tiny girl who can't do basic math inside your head and gives you 5 pesos as your change, therefore effectively weasling 5 pesos right under your very nose. Clever, is it not? Only if the victim is retarded.


Anyways, it happened again this morning. I'm idly riding this FX and handed my 20 bucks, expecting 10 bucks in return. I got 5 instead. I actually felt bad that I have to point it out cuz whenever I do it, I get these strange looks from my fellow passengers. The kind of look that sez I'm being a bitch over a measly coin or that I'm even more desperate than the driver for my change. Fuck it, I want my ten pesos. Ten pesos means 5 Marlboro sticks. I want my smokes. I. Want.

Not long ago, I'd point it out without sounding condescending. There was this time, perhaps, six months ago when I was even pleasant about it. Too pleasant that Mr. Driver actually gathered up the balls to lie about it (usually they pretend that they gave the wrong change or something) and said "Tumaas na po ang pamasahe eh" (there was a rise on the usual fare)

Which got into my nerves since I know damn well he's lying. Here I was being nice about this little "misunderstanding" and he actually had the guts to lie (that's what you get for being nice and shit nowadays)

I snapped back "Ah talaga? Wala akong nabalitaan sa news kagabi. Di ba may taripa dapat kung tumaas ang pamasahe?!" (Is that right? I watched the news last night and there were no mention of anything like that. I think the government even issues tariffs whenever there's an adjustment of the usual fare, right?) Then finish off with a probing
You-Good-For-Nothing-Fucking-Douche-Bag-You-LIE-Gimme-My-Money kind of look.

He grumpily (the nerve) gave me the right change and muttered something under his breath. Then I got "The Weird Look" from people around me.

It's absolutely infuriating. Why do they even try? My best guess is that some *coughspinelesscough* people either thinks that A), "Oh well, it's just 10 pesos. I'm so fucking rich I need no ten pesos... plus the guy looks scary as shit" or B) "Oh well, looks like he needs it more than I do. I'll do it for charity cuz Jesus would approve... ?"

I do know some people who tolerate this kind of shit. When asked, most of them thinks, "Mr. Driver went as far as swindling money so it means he's that desperate. Besides, it's just ten pesos, I usually let it go."

To which I'd typically respond "Do you realize that by walking away and letting him do what he did, you're actually the one responsible for this man's wrong doing? You're The Enabler" Then they'd be struck dumb or get offended and say "No, you're just too greedy for your own good"

Now see, greed has nothing to do with it, although l'd be the first to admit that I am in fact, a very greedy person by nature. But I'd rather be greedy that to just standing there, mutely letting a stranger swindle 10 pesos out of my hard-earned money. Money. Hard-Earned MONEY. I sure as hell will not tolerate this crappy shit and nobody will make me feel bad about taking what's rightfully mine.

Anyways, what happened this morning was the same exact scenario, except this guy has half the right mind to keep his pie-hole shut from spitting outright lies. I stared at my 5 peso coin with utter dismay and said:

Manong, bakit 5 pesos lang sukli ko? Eh di ba mula C5 hanggang Centerpoint, 10 pesos lang? (How come I only got 5 pesos when the fare from C5 to Centerpoint is only 10 pesos?)

He then pretends to forget that I just got there and hurriedly gave me the right change, no questions asked. I get a bit annoyed and couldn't help but muttered "mali pa ibibigay mo, tarantado" (Giving me the wrong change? Jackass. I don't know what tarantado is in english hahahhahah)

My fellow passenger must've heard me cuz I gots dem weird looks again...

Tina Presents: Six Degrees Of Weirdness

I was supposed to publish an entirely different post today but I checked out the infuriatingly stylish blog of Nina (she doesn't know I envy her layout design, don't tell her I told you so...heeeheeeheee cuz I'mma steal it as soon as she falls asleep heeeheeeheee) and it appears that I got tagged.

Now if you haven't clicked on the link I just put in there, get the eff out and shoot yourself in the head! Hahahah, No wait! I jest, I jest!

Fine, for the lazy asses out there (you know who you are) here's how the game goes:

"Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about you. People who get tagged need to write a list of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog."

Now, I don't want to be known as "that bitch who killed the whole-tag-shit" that's why I felt absolutely compelled to continue the whole shebang. What can I say? I know my priorities! Ok fine, I'm bored as shit, sue me.

Wait, bago magkalimutan, , I'm gonna tag: Benny, Hannah, Misch, Rene, Anne Bunyi and my dear friend, Ody

Six Degrees of Weirdness:

1) I'm so insecure of my own work that when I'm done posting an article, (I cannot stress this enough: work-related, not my personal blog) I refuse to look at it again, the sight of it makes me cringe. Only one person in the entire office knows this, di ba Benny?

2) The mere thought of dancing makes me nervous. I was and never will be a great dancer. If I get invited to a party or an event and I found out there's gonna be dancing involved or that there's a dance floor, you can bet that I won't show up.

3) I don't watch horror movies. I can't stand it and when I do try, it'll haunt me at night for at least a week.

4) I'm really wicked when I want to be and believe it or not, this is the nicer Tina. If you think I'm a bitch now, you should've met me back in college. One of the things I'm not proud of. My witch factor got so bad that the nuns at my former dorm booted me out. I got into a petty little squabble that at least three girls left the dorm. I don't exaggerate, ask my roomates and my sister. In my defense, they were bullying a good friend, that's why I did what I did. Heeheehee...

Which explains number5:

5) I Hate Nuns. I don't trust them and I see them as a bunch of money-hungry self-righteous pricks who hides behind the bible and their faith. I lived with them for three and a half years, so I know.

6) I'm computer-illiterate. No, really. I'm so pathetic at this whole thing, it's not even funny anymore. I wasn't the one who typed my thesis (paid a friend to do it since I can't type shit), my sister made my email address when I was a sophomore in college cuz I never bothered to make one and I only learned what Ctrl+A, B, C,S, Z, B, I... a year ago when I became a writer.

Cntrl+Alt+Backspace has a meaning too, wanna know what it is? Ask the WebDate Crew.

Nina hates cows? But they're so delicious... I don't get it... Hahahhahah!

Princess For A Day

Shout-Out: To my good friend, Peter! He made my brand-spankin' new header!!! Thanks Pete, here's the isaw I promised you!


*By the way, no that's not me. Like I'd actually pave way for my vanity and put a picture of me smack right into my header.... heeheehee that's my evil twin sister Magdalena Ursula, she talked me into it, promise!

Last Friday the office (and the whole of Ortigas, for that matter) experienced a two and half hour long blackout, or as I would like to call, MinifuckingBreak From The Bleak Mundanity of Tina Lee's Office Life" Ahhh... yes... blessed darkness!

So picture this: You work your ass off and you're just about had it (and by had it, I mean literally wanting to quit work), it's a Friday, Nazi-boss is MIA, you're borenessment to tears and there's a blackout.

What's a harassed/bored/sick/depressed/annoyed/ girl to do? Hmmm...

That's right bitches, I went out, smoked lots of cigs (even though I was sick as a dog), hounded my friends and took pictures of us wearing crowns! Why? Because we can, dorks! That and realistically speaking, that's as close to being a princess as I could ever get, I hate my life, huhuhuhuh....

Pweh... anyhoot, that was the funnest two hours of my life here in the office in a loooong time... which is kinda pathetic, really... Uuuugghhh....

Zey call me Ze Motherfucking Princess!

Cyber-Lurking

Well since I'm bored to tears, got no life and has the lively personality of a tree stump, I might as well tell you what I've been up to this lovely Thursday afternoon. I went blog-hopping. Most of you don't know but I'm an avid blog reader and pretty much visits all the blog links you see on your right, on a regular, if not stalkerish basis.

I'm griping about you guys not writing enough to satisfy my geeky bookwormish tendencies and unfortunately, nothing new ever came up so I resorted on cyber-lurking.

So what I did was I checked out GMA news (cuz I hate ABS-CBN). 10 minutes later, I was wonky-eyed. Damn, the layout sucks, it definitely needs work, make it a bit more streamlined or something. Bleah, anyways, I gathered a few interesting tid-bits:

Christian Bautista: Sorry for RP Anthem Memory Lapse

Wow, that's just.... depraved. I mean, I'm sure that was an honest mistake on his part but still man. Singing the most beautiful National Anthem in the Whole Wide World, you need to fucking practice. Next time, quit spending your day sucking cocks and get your shit together, Christian.

The star who plays my peborit bad-ass Agent Ari Gold won an Emmy! I love Jeremy Piven!!! It's an honor very well deserved!

FYI: The Character for Ari Gold is actually inspired by Hollywood's real-life Super Agent Ari Emmanuel! From what I gathered, Ari Emmanuel got embarrassed over Jeremy Piven's vicious portrayal that he actually mellowed down a bit!

Here's some Ari-isms for you:

Talking to Vincent Chase's Manager, Eric:

"Let's hug it out, bitch."
"I parted the Red Sea for you, E. Don't piss on the sand!"
"I don't know who blew who, but Wicks got a crush on your boy Vince"
"We said Starbucks, Eric. I distinctly remember because I fucked the counter girl"

Ari: Yes E, I would say being rejected by Cannes before we have a distributor would be a disaster. One in a series of disasters orchestrated by you since you took the reigns of Vincent’s career.
E: So what can we do Ari?
Ari: Well, let’s see. A) I can give you a hug and say it’s OK you destroyed your best friend’s career, or B) I could have you come in here and write on the dry erase board 500 times “I destroyed my best friend’s career, I destroyed my best friend’s career”.

Talking to Lloyd, his gay assistant:

Lloyd: Ari, you’re wearing the same suit as yesterday?
Ari: That’s because I spent the night in jail
Lloyd: OMG, Ari, why didn’t you call me?
Ari: Because you get one call and I wanted to use it on someone I like to have sex with.

"Lloyd, just go grab your best dress and know that your love of cock is a huge asset to this company"
"Fuck the phones Lloyd! Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency titty fuck, don't answer!"

Snaps on his wife when he was chided for answering his phone during their marriage counseling session:

"You can have it, if you want to live in Agoura fucking Hills, and go to group therapy. But if you want a Beverly Hills Mansion, and you want a country club membership, and you want nine weeks a year in a tuscan villa, then I'm going to need to take a call when it comes in at noon on a mother fucking Wednesday."

Talking to Dana Gordon:
"Spill it! I'll swallow a Cyanide tablet if they capture me."

I believe this is the part where he was talking to Dana Gordon's secretary but I could be wrong:

"Tell her that I still have the pictures from Cancun. Tell her that I am going to start a website. I'm going to take a full page ad out in the L.A. Times advertising it. Tell her it will be called I'mAHollywoodExecutiveWhore.com and no password or fee will be required. Tell her I want a fucking call back!"

Fiery Meteorite has struck Peru: Caused Mysterious Illness

Kids, what you're seeing is a giant crater formed when the meteorite landed with a thud in Peru. It's kinda interesting actually. Read the article! I bet the aliens are the ones responsible for the "mysterious illness"

This Venezuelan Dude...

... was declared dead after a highway accident but miraculously woke up... during his own AUTOPSY! Now that's just...

Hirap talaga ng walang magawa...

Stupidity Is Upon Us!

Benny: Bawasan mo na kasi ang mga churvaloo (widgets sa blog)
Tina: Bawasan mo itlog mo, gusto mo?!
Benny: Steg...gagawin mo lang naman keychain yun eh
Tina: Ya betcha!
Tina: Read my blog, comment ka, tas testi gawan moko sa Friendster! No point on wasting time while on it
Benny: Later... I'm sooooo lyk buzy trying to lick my anus
Tina: That sounds like my typical Tuesday morning

*****

Ze author is having chest pains:

Tina: Do you know it's possible that I maybe dying of a heart attack right now? Lots of women do.
Benny: Bakit? Hindi mo ba magalaw arms mo?
Tina: I'm having chest pains and I'm reading this article, symptoms of a heart attack
Benny: Difficulty in breathing? Should be a combination of many symptoms...
Tina: All the solid taba I ate in this lifetime are coming back to me now
Benny: Astig! Fatness prevails!
Tina: If I can't move my arms then who's typing this?
Tina: ... or this?
Tina: What if I'm actually dying right now and yet I'm still slaving away here... stupid office.

Huling Hirit Sa Tag-init!

Gots me some pics from our Antipolo trip. This is a long over-due post (yet again) cuz the pics took a fucking long time to be up. Anyways, it was fun! The guys were on their best behavior, the food was awesome, the laughter never ends and the venue was so picturesque!

*My condolences to Paeng's camera. He broke it while he was out swimming. Fucking thinng won't zoom in and out anymore, hahahahh!

Anyhoot, a lot of caring friends were asking about my bold declaration that I'm fat, sick and depressed. So I'll take the liberty of explaining my sudden need for some drams.

Fat: Was baby bro's birthday and I spent the entire weekend doing nuthin' but munching on barbeques, hotdogs, pancit luglog and chocolate cakes. Imagine my surprise when I wore this white baby-tee yesterday and saw my gut protruding out of my shirt. I was so disgusted with myself that I wore my shirt with a jacket all fucking day. It was terrible!I swear to God, my pits were boiling in the afternoon heat, muahahahahha!

Sick: I think I caught a cold yesterday. My head hurts, I couldn't smell a fucking thing and my chest feels like a hugeass clamp was well.... clamping my chest. You don't get more redundant that that, hahahah! Now I'm coughing like a bitch, couldn't smoke and I think my asthma is acting up. Oh well, nicotine will have to be minimized today.

Depressed: Cuz my job is becoming more and more like a pain in the ass. I want out but I was advised to wait for a while. Which sucks. Like... a lot.

Hava fucking good day you lucky, lucky SonOffaBits!

Ugh, whatta way to start the day.

Borednessment.

Out of sheer boredom I ym-ed (if there's such a word) my friend Roschie:

Tina: Borednessment.
Rosch: Wow! You came up with a new word!

Zey Call me ze Word-Came-Up-Er (see?!)

Big-Ass Case Of Heebie-Jeebies

Umm... do you ever get the feeling that people are talking about you behind your back? I got a hefty dose of ze heebie-jeebies yesterday morning and wouldn't you know it, I was right on the moneh. Seems like Hannah's imagination ran away from her... yet again.

Eve Angel's Word Vomit

Sunrise Shotgun's Impertinent response

The Blind Rage Sez: Lies!!! ALL LIES!!!

For the record, I can't really blame The Sunrise Shotgun for his ardent desire to make a crush bunny outta moi... Why, you ask? Cuz it's like asking if the sky is blue or does the sun rise in the East! I'm a mothafuckin' sexy beast that's why!!! Ya hear me?

A Fucking Zexy Beast!!!

Okay, maybe not. I was just being sarcastic and shi... guys? Hello? Anybody home?!

Fuck this shit, I'm sleeping.

10 Reasons Not To Take Drugs On A Date

Okay I know this day is a slow one (at least for me) so... Here's a funny video that tells us why it's probably not a good idea to take drugs when out on a date! Hilarious and wrong on sooo many levels! Enjoy, bitches!

Hahahaha!

Erap: His Ass is Nailed!!!

From This:

To This:

What up, beyootch?!

My best friend filled me in on the verdict of dear ol' ex-President Erap Estrada cuz I'm stuck slaving away here at work.

The verdict?

Guilty (Reclusion Perpetua) on Plunder but Not Guilty for Perjury. Personally I think that would suffice. I was expecting him to be acquitted on both accounts not because I'm Pro-Erap but because I somehow lack faith on the Philippines' Judicial System.

It's unfunny now when I think about it because when I was about to go to work, I thought to myself "I bet ten monkeys stuck on a fun house could come up with better verdict than those dorks. It's always about moneys with these guys "

I stand corrected. It seemed that Jesus was watching when the whole shebang went down.

New Look, Same Old Tina

Yeah, I did a little tweaking on my blog. Ya likey? Not that I hated what my blog layout used to look like, just added a few things to make it more "visually appealing" (like a fucking THIRD Column). I was a bit hesitant to do it since I know it'll take a lot of work (but let's consider the fact that I'm depressed enough to actually do it) I'm glad I did! I even had a custom blogger sig made! Chew on that, bitch! Anyways, yun lang! I'm reserving my depression-induced rant for tomorrow.

Thanks to Peter and this AWESOME SITE!

Hell Explained

*Something funny before starting another hellish week.

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell,let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" IN HIS CLASS.

Brilliant! Absolute Genius-ness... ment!!!

Those Retarded Chain Texts

Now, I'm sure pretty much the majority of you guys have, from one time or another, got one of those retarded chain-texts. Blame the Unlimitext Boom, these chain-text sprouted faster that mushrooms on a wet, thunder-storm crusted night. But some of them are actually very annoying. I mean, it is annoying when you receive crap like these all the time but some of them are just especially annoying.



I tell you, sometimes.... Di ako maka-get over kung ganu ka-tanga ang mga pumapatol/naniniwala/tumatangkilik sa mga ganitong texts.

Top Five Most Annoying Chain Text EVER:

"Please describe me in 5 words. Then send the same message to 20 of your friends and be surprised with what people has to say about you! I'll wait for your reply!"

*Bitch, please. Why blatantly fish for compliments? At may time pressure pa? Why? And for the record, Alam ko nang masama ugali ko di ko na kelangan ng confirmation ng iba.

Today is the feastday of (insert long-dead saint's name HERE)! Send this message to twenty of your friends and you will have unexpected blessing/surprise tomorrow! Don't ignore or you'll have bad luck for three millenia/You'll burn in hell/your dog will die/ your first-born will turn into the Anti-Christ! Don't ignore, Jesus is watching/will hunt you down.

* I get this everyfuckintime. I dunno if we're talking about the same God that I'm referring to but I refuse to believe his minions are this retarded.

"I love my mom" Please send this to twenty of your friends or else something bad will happen to your mom. Don't ignore. Sensha na but I love my mom kasi eh.

*Somebody sent me this message a year ago. Call me petty but it pissed me off so bad inaway ko yung guy. If I remember correctly I berated him with "Ang tanda mo na naniniwala ka pa sa chain-text, putangina ka!" Why the fuck would you wish somebody's mom ill?! Who does that?! Well apparently some do. Ten shades of stupid if you ask me.

Here's a good personality test: Pick a color: Red, Blue, Green Orange, Yellow, White. I'll tell you the answer after you tell me which color you chose.

*I don't need a shrink. That's what friends are for.

Today is World Friendship Day! Send This to twenty of your friends (you can send it to me too!) and find out how many people cares for you!

* What for? I don't even like some of my friends.

However, there is a silver lining on this particularly retarded cloud.

Funniest Chain Text EVER:

"WALA LANG" Pass this to 18 people and nothing will happen.

Promise! SOBRANG effective nito, because I just tried it and wala talagang nangyari!
- courtesy of Benny

'nuff said.

Parodies, Gangstas and Being Insane

First off, feast your eyes on the new generation iPod Nano. Sucks balls since I only bought an old gen a couple of months back. Had I know a thing of beauty like that would surface anytime soon, I would've waited. Damn you, Mac! Damn you to hell!!!


I love it when crazy people makes hilarious parodies of music videos. Hahaha! The first Video is of UltraMan Ace, rapping with the monsters! And as Benjie sez, "Crazy Japs, always has something that will knock your socks off!" Right on!

The next one is a personal favorite! It's Star Wars Gangsta Rap! Seeing Darth Vader, Hans Solo and Yoda rapping just slays me!

From the crazy people of MadTV. This is, in my humble opinion, the bestest parody they ever made. It's their version of "Through The Rain" By Mariah Carey feat. Whitney Houston. Making fun of both singers' rumored mental breakdowns, substance abuse and the likes. They changed the title to "Not Insane" it's hilarious!!!

Astig di ba?!

Seksuwalidad Ni Tina

Disclaimer: No, I was not offended by these incidents. Okay, maybe a little in Aubrey's case but the rest hindi naman. Sarcasm is just my middle name, trust me. Hahahaha! Oh and nope, the names has not been changed. Cuz I'm evil.

Meeting up after not seeing each other for 2 years

Dominic: So... Di mo nasabing tibo ka na pala ngayon?
(5 seconds of silence)
Tina: (speaks with a straight-face) So, di mo nasabi... nag-recede na pala ang hair line mo ngayon?

*****

Aubrey: So musta ang date mo with ****?
Tina: Ummm... well. It was okay. He was nice but I don't think I like him anymore. If he asks me out again I might not take him up for it.
Aubrey: Really? Two days ago sabi mo you like him. You're not gay, are you?
(5 seconds of silence)
Tina: (with a sardonic smile) What, you think I was hitting on you?! And answering you're question, no. I'm straight, Aubrey.

*****

Dencio: Di mo pa kami pakilala sa bf mo?
Tina: :I
Tina: Sinung bf?
Dencio: Hahaha!
Dencio: Sige na nga, gf!
Tina: :I
Dencio: :-D
Tina: :I
Tina: I'm not GAY!!!!
Dencio: :-o
Tina: Lagi na lang!
Tina: Lagi na lang!
Tina: Lagi na lang!
Dencio: Hahahahaha, ok I believe you...
Dencio: Nothing wrong with it, if ever
Dencio: I'm not pro, nor againts it
Tina: ulol!
Dencio: PEACE!!!

For the last time, I'm not gay.

Pinoy Version: Microsoft Bintana

I wish somebody from my blog roll would write something, anything! I'm so bored and it's only 10:23 in the morning. Bored to tears, I tell you!!! Help! Somebody help!!! Got me pics from a good friend. La lang.















Am I bored or what?

Tonight We Dine... In Cleveland!!!

Once in a while, I get bitten by one of those I'd-Be-Putting-Senseless-Shit-On-My-Blog- Bug. This is one of those moments, hahahah! I know there seems to be a thousand spoofs of the movie "300" all over the net so this maybe so late that a lot of you have seen it. Well, being the one who's not exactly in the loop for anything much, my friend gave this link. This time, the Spartans are attacking a bunch of hijackers, in mid-air! It's unbelievably funny, I had just had to share it with everyone!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to United Airlines:

God, that's just so fucking wrong...