The irrepressible Carla texted me this morning and told me it was very quiet in the office without me and that PeePee was still bummed about the whole shit and surprisingly, even Carla's boyf was bummed over our situation. I told her to stop being such an emo about it and that I miss them a lot. I wish things could have been different. Another person who symphatized over this issue was Rhae.
Rhae, whom I worked side by side with for almost three years, was especially saddened over the whole thing. As I was making my way to my interview, she said something that really fizzled any happy thoughts I had that day. She said that I left and it's finally sinking in.
She said no matter how much I try to say that it's not like I'm dead or somewhere overseas, that doesn't mean that things will ever be the same again. That no matter how often I say that we could always see each other whenever we wanted, we know there will always be something missing. I wish she would stop saying things like that on times like these because it just makes things harder than it already is.
Feigning cheerfulness, I told her not to worry because I don't have any plans on disappearing on them and I will try to visit every once in a while.
When I left, one of my firmest resolve is that I will try to avoid feeling neither anger nor sadness over this. It's such a bad idea that I waded through old pics from our Iweb and MS12 days. Looking back at days gone by and laughing at our past debaucheries is just so hard. Gosh, and we looked so young during those days.
She's right, though. It just wouldn't be the same.
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